Tonight the house is quiet after days of being filled with family and friends. It makes me feel a bit despondent... and at the same time so grateful that I am so loved, and that when our family visits it is a blessing and not something that makes me shudder.
Still, I long for a communal way of life that doesn't exist anymore. I hate that my children's grandparents aren't an everyday part of their lives. If I had my way, we would all live on a farm together, all the grandparents and children and grandchildren; we would get on each other's nerves and be in each other's business, but that would be outweighed by the goodness and vibrancy that comes with being loved and seen and accepted and cherished. Of course, this is all daydreamed from behind rose-colored glasses, where conflict is naught but a momentary blip on the radar and is always resolved kindly and quickly. Anyone who is a human being knows that's not the case.
Tonight it's just enough that we've been able to spend the last few days together and that our time was life-giving and happy, and that these have been good days that will shape my children's memories of their childhood and their family. I'm entering 2018 truly blessed.