Rainstorms

Today I had planned to squeeze in a 3-mile walk right after work before we have some friends over for dinner this evening. The weather begs to differ.

When I left my office I stepped out into the most wonderful kind of rain-- the kind that makes you feel like you are in the shower, not the kind that leaves you feeling pelted and stung. It took the moan off of my lips about forgetting my umbrella in the car and I made my way through the parking lot enjoying the feeling of gentle, steady rain on a warm day. It became wildly more adventurous when I was driving home and the windows started fogging up and the power steering decided to intermittently give up on me. We don't have a knob to change the air flow in our car... we have a pair of needle-nose pliers that do the trick, but it's only something to be attempted at stop lights. Definitely not in the middle of a monsoon with foggy windows and no power steering and water dripping into your eyes and mussing up your glasses. Like I said, adventurous. But home safe and sound.

I'll have to make up my walk another day this week. But for now I'm going to go snuggle up somewhere before the company arrives and maybe let this rainstorm lull me into a nap.

Have I mentioned that I love rainy days?

Sassafras Walk

It was just an hour-long one, on the Mountains to Sea Trail with Vicki and Joshua. But it still counts. Especially since we found some sassafras on the trail! Also lots of poison ivy and some mushrooms. But the sassafras was definitely the most exciting. Click on the picture to make it bigger and you should be able to read the text, then.

Down Home Herbal Medicine

Tonight was Joshua's crash course in herbal medicine 101, with our friend and teacher, Vicki.

Today's lesson included digging up pleurisy root (Asclepias tuberosa)-- informally known as butterfly weed-- in a nearby field. After they dug it up (I was still at work for this part), they brought it home, chopped up the roots, and processed them.

Also learned the basics of making a salve.

 Step one is Vicki's awesome concoction of mixed herbs and infused oils in the blender.

You will strain this concoction through some cheesecloth and into a saucepan.

Note the beeswax that is needed for this all to work.
It eagerly waits its involvement in this process.

So you pour the blended bits onto the cheesecloth.
The oils drip through to the saucepan below, and the fibrous parts of the plant remain on top.

You kind of stir it around to get all the liquid out.

Once it's mostly done, you wrap up the cheesecloth around the plant matter.

Then you squeeze all the rest of the "juice" out.

Now you turn on the heat and add the beeswax into the mix.

After the wax has melted and there has been sufficient stirring,
you are ready to pour the salve.

We prepared the containers in a row ahead of time, because you have to be quick about it.

Vicki added some essential oils to the mix. 

Minus a few cc's that I spilled all over the counter while trying to photograph the beeswax earlier.

Vicki poured the hot salve into a glass measuring cup for easier pouring,
since the containers are small.

Then, it's a race to see if you can pour it into all the containers before
 the wax begins to harden.

Salve complete! You can't stick your fingers in it while it's congealing or else she can't sell it.

Vicki sells a wonderful apothecary line at Garage 34 on South Lexington. Check it out.
She's the real deal.

Congratulations, Myles and Wendi :)

It seems like just a few days ago I was staring out of my office window at a gray sky, contemplating what the tree line at the end of the parking lot would look like once it was filled with summertime’s leaves. Now, spring has burst onto the scene—verdant green clothing winter’s barren tree limbs with energetic new life; splashes of color spilling out from unexpected places as flowers bloom in glorious shades. I love the vibrancy of spring.

I wanted to get outside this afternoon and so I decided to get take-out from a Thai restaurant downtown during my lunch hour. Walking along the sidewalk, I found myself truly enjoying the day. I just spent a weekend in Savannah with my mom and about thirty other women from around the country for Girlapalooza. Girlapalooza is a girls’ weekend that was started by one of my favorite sheroes, Kak. Every year, same weekend, different location. This year was historic downtown Savannah and I spent the weekend threading my way through the city’s cobblestone streets in my new five-finger Vibrams (love ’em!). Today, waiting at a crosswalk in downtown Asheville, I truly realized for the first time the pleasure of walking around in my own city. Why should I romanticize walking through downtown Savannah and ignore the delights of strolling down Biltmore Avenue? I was trying to wrap my mind around why I had never had this mindset before, and all I could come up with is that I am a Floridian. Floridians typically avoid walking anywhere outside if at all humanly possible. By the time I was old enough to actually appreciate the downtown atmosphere, I lived in Orlando and at the time (I can’t speak for it now), downtown Orlando was a strange mixture of the hood and corporate emptiness. Occasionally I would find myself in downtown Winter Park, but it was too schmaltzy for me at that stage of life. (Now I love downtown Winter Park. Bring on the schmaltz.)

Life is full of beautiful, simple pleasures. I’m realizing that more often than not, what it takes is a change of mindset to open yourself up to true enjoyment. It takes some effort and intention, but it’s so worth it. 

Some pictures from Girlapalooza weekend...

Coming into Forsyth Park during our 3-Day training walk that Kak lead.

My mom played skip ball... or whatever this is... to get a donation for my 3-Day fund. :)

Beautiful Catholic cathedral... St. John's, I think.

Inside.

WOD from Hades

I'm not sure off the top of my head what day of the Challenge this is. Paleo has been out the window for the past month. Sad! Someone posted on our CFA website: "I have a compulsive personality, and it unfortunately goes both ways. Getting back on track is harder than overcoming urges and staying the course." I totally agree with that 100% when it comes to my journey with this. Tomorrow is pay day, which means trip to the grocery store this weekend. I only have a few weeks left on the Challenge and I want to finish strong, strong, strong. This weekend, though, we are going to Myrtle Beach to visit the fam, and so I am sure that will mean cheat, cheat, cheat. :)

Back at CFA today for the first time in 12 days. Ouch, that hurt!

Strength/Skill - Overhead squat. I had never worked on this as a strength/skill before. The goal was to work up to a heavy single. I ended up at 38#. Stability was good, though, so hopefully next time this skill comes around I will be able to up the ante more and more.

WOD from Hades - This is not the official name, but that is what I am calling it.

20 min AMRAP

12 DU or 36 SU (SU for me... we have a jump rope at home though, so I need to start practicing the DU so that I can start doing them in the WODs)

5 power snatch (Hadn't done this since another killer WOD during OnRamp - 28#)

200m run

1 min rest

I got through 5 rounds + 50m.

Lesson #1: I need to learn how to run. During one of my 200m "runs" Randy came out with me to show moral support (wonderful coach, by the way). He started talking about how technique is everything. I took that as a diplomatic way of saying I needed to learn what I am doing. 

Lesson #2: I am running a 5K in six weeks. I need to be running all the time.

Lesson #3: Springtime is here, and then into summer = more and more WODs with running. Waaaaaahhhh!!!

Lesson #4: Maybe you shouldn't do a CF WOD less than 24 hours after giving blood. 

This was the worst WOD I've done in a while... and I say "worst" because my mental game was complete crap. I haven't had a case of the "I can't do it"s since my insecurity of showing up for a CFA class vanished about two months ago. I hope when we repeat this I kill it and show myself what I'm made of, cause this morning sucked. 

Preacher girl

Today has been a day of jumping from soapbox to soapbox for me. Poor Joshua-- I've been using him as my sounding board for all this preaching, too. Topics? Purpose in life; and the travesty of  how Christians behave toward homosexuals/homosexuality. Too much to delve into (again) right now, as I am very near my computer curfew for the evening... but maybe I'll enlighten you another time if you have a hankering to hear.

Day 52

Okay, I’ll be honest. Diet-wise I’m not doing so hot on my challenge. Since the “great recipe slump” and Joshua’s decision to get off the paleo diet (he wants to gain muscle mass and he just needs to eat more food—any food—to do so… the paleo diet was making him too lean), I have been struggling. Plus it’s Girl Scout cookie season. Can you feel my pain?

Overall, though, I feel good. Even though my diet hasn’t been “strictly paleo” it hasn’t been about overindulging, either. And our fridge is still stocked with fresh fruits and veggies, which I eat daily. Going out to eat has been the weakness. Still, I am sticking to my challenge. I’m not willing to give up this “you must eat a lot of fruits and vegetables, your skin is glowing!” complexion. And I’ve lost 10 lbs and have another 10 to go. So I’ll keep plugging away.

CFA this morn. It was SO hard to get out of bed… I literally almost crawled back under the covers while I was packing my gym bag. But, as always, the workout is worth it.

Strength/skill – Power clean and jerk. (Possibly my new favorite technique for getting weight overhead!) Worked up to a heavy single at 72#. The jerk was no problem at that weight, but the power clean was getting heavy and my elbows were getting slow.

Partner WOD! We had an uneven amount of people in our class this morning, so Joshua and I teamed up with a fellow named Jason. I worked while they rested, and they worked at the same time while I rested. I started again whenever the last one of them finished the round, but really they stayed neck and neck the whole time. It was fun to see synchronized box jumps going on.

15 minutes AMRAP:

12 kettlebell swings (18#)

8 box jumps (16#)

4 burpees

Switch off working/resting

We completed 13 rounds and 7 (or 8, depending on who’s score you want to use, Jason’s or Joshua’s) KB swings. Not bad! I finally figured out how to get the rhythm of box jumps down after watching Joshua through the first few rounds. That guy is smokin’ hot.

Also… as I have previously mentioned… I am walking the 3-Day in D.C. in September and today I met someone at CFA who has done the walk five times and is walking Chicago this year. She said that there is a great training group here in Asheville. Super excited to get hooked up with other people on the same journey!

Tuesday

Bad drivers are one of my greatest pet peeves in this life. Take, for instance, the goober in front of me on Biltmore Avenue today. We both got into the left-hand turn lane. The light turns green... in heavy traffic we both inch our way up to the intersection during those precious few moments when we have the green turn arrow lit in our direction. Goober gets to be first in line and decides he doesn't want to turn left after all. He wastes the entire green light by waiting for an opening to get back over into the right lane. Really? 

I am in the process of going through some photographs from a trip my family took to England five years ago. I was 20 and had just returned home from a month spent in poverty-ridden Nicaragua; I remember London being a bit of a shock. But I loved it. My Nana was from London and I remember her always talking with a wistful fondness about the parks there and how there was nothing like them in the States. We took this trip after she died, partly in memoriam. She must smile at me from heaven whenever she hears me say that England's parks stole my heart as well. London was a perfect mix of natural (albeit cultivated) beauty, urban metropolis, and anchored history. My kind of city indeed.

Joshua and Michelle have always shown an inordinate pride in their cultural heritage (Italian and Latin). I have always teased them about it, telling them that I am just as Italian and Hispanic as they are. (I am, although they inherited more genes from the "swarthy good looks" pool than I did.) But I think I am beginning to understand where they are coming from. I'm starting to feel a growing pride for my own British roots-- it feels good to share some of the characteristics of such a strong and stalwart people. 

History

When I was in college, I bounced between majors. I started off as a political science major because I had ambitions of becoming a Foreign Service Officer with the State Department. Those aspirations dwindled quickly when I took Intro to International Relations. I realized that I had zero idea about anything to do with politics and hightailed it out of there, managing to coax out a B average because I know how to write. Then I took American History with an amazing professor (props to you, Dr. Long-- who was short-- oxymoronic) and tapped into my fascination with the past, and decided to major in history. This was waylaid by my speech class, where I discovered Interpersonal Communication and switched majors yet again. It was a busy freshman year.

Anyway, this week Joshua and I went to see The King's Speech (with Colin Firth, one of my favorites). Perhaps it's my British blood, but I love any movie having to do with the Royal Family. This has again sparked my fascination with all things ancient and old, and I'm off on another history tangent. If I could go back to college tomorrow and major in history, just for fun, I'd be all over it. I will always love learning and I think I will always be intrigued with people in the past. Choices, motivations, consequences... it is a beautiful tapestry that is at sometimes glorious and other times tragic.

About two years ago I had a desire to start at the beginning of world history and work my way up to the present. I think I might challenge myself with that again. Although I am going to skip the whole Sumerian alphabet chapter because I find it a bit boring, sorry. Let's move on to the Egyptians and ancient Greeks and Rome and the Middle Ages and Robert the Bruce and WWI and II. We'll see. I'll keep you apprised. 

Saturday

Today was a day for haircuts and tax filing.
Both turned out better than expected. :) 

Day 47

Testing Day

Phase 1

Work up to new 1RM for backsquat @ 30X1 tempo

1RM goal – 120# (last 5RM was 102#)

50% estimated max – 5 x 30X1 tempo (58#)

75% estimated max – 3 x 30X1 tempo (88#)

85% estimated max – 1 x 30X1 tempo (98#)

90% estimated max – 1 x 30X1 tempo (103# - miscalculated the weights and thought I was doing 108#)

Tried for 118# for new 1RM but had to bail.

Phase 2

Load up bar to 85% of max weight (88#) and complete max reps = 10 with chest up

Phase 3

Max calorie burn for all-out 1 min row = 14 cal (lame… but getting the rowing movement down correctly is difficult for me)

How it felt: I was disappointed about the 1RM, since it only ended up being 1# more than my previous 5RM in January. But completing max reps at 88# was difficult to do with proper form, so I am being patient with myself and allowing my body to catch up with my mental goals. It’ll happen! I love CFA and the community of people who cheer you on when you feel like you literally can’t stand up under the weight. Today was my first time having to bail… it was kind of fun to send the bar bouncing to the floor. Can’t wait until I can backsquat my own BW! Joshua was up over 200# today… he’s a beast. :)

Day 46

Weighed myself tonight at Grammy's-- I've lost 10 lbs. so far during the Challenge. I also think that I might have an iron deficiency, because my (expensive) gold rings are making my skin turn black... even when I rub them across my face. In my mind this is impossible, because my diet is rich in iron from meat and poultry and in vitamin C (which enhances iron uptake) with lots of fresh fruits and vegetables. It would explain the chronic fatigue I've been battling, though. I think I might go to the doctor and see what the deal is. 

Day 45

It's the half-way mark today for me on this 90-Day Challenge. There has been some cheating, I'll be honest. Eating at other people's homes, and a couple of times just going out to eat and getting what I wanted (read: pizza)... but overall I have done a stand-up job, if I do say so myself. I'd like to do the next half without the cheating, though. Most of the time, the cheating really isn't worth it in the "Ohmygosh this tastes divine" sense; it's just convenient. Paleo requires a lot of food prep and time in the kitchen. That has been enjoyable and at the same time frustrating for Joshua and I, especially when our experimental dishes go awry. But we have discovered some incredible recipes (stuffed peppers, anyone?) and alternatives (I love you, Coconut Bliss) that make some of what I used to eat seem excessive. When this is over, I am sure I will go back to bread and butter, two of the secrets to happiness in life. But why would I go back to regular ice cream when I have a delicious, healthier alternative? Why would I add sugar back in when I have learned to use honey, and when my taste buds have gotten used to not eating fake, saccharine food from a box?

Today was CFA.

Strength/Skill - Clean, work up to a heavy set of 2. I'd only done this one time before and ended at 28#... today I worked up to 48#. Hate that my butt still sticks out when I get low in a squat. Core strength...

WOD - AMRAP in 3 minutes:
6 push-ups (supposed to be ring p/u but can't do those yet... just stuck to the regular)
9 box jumps (18")
3 rounds, 1 minute rest between rounds
Completed 7 rounds + 6 p/u and 8 freaking box jumps. So close! I should've just finished the round after Shanna called the time.

Consolidation

So I've decided to consolidate my two blogs, because I find myself neglecting one or the other. So for those of you (any of you?) who read this one here, you will find yourself occasionally inundated with CrossFit WODs and more paleo-speak.

Today has been a good, albeit injurious, day. Started early at CrossFit Asheville, which is one of my favorite ways to start the day. I never-- NEVER-- want to get out of bed in order to get there, though. This morning Joshua was trying to coax me out from underneath the warm, snuggly blankets and he said that I sat up and gave him the meanest scowl ever. Not a morning person, what can I say? But somewhere between calisthenics and the WOD, I zoom into consciousness and by the time I have finished the hour, my face cherry red and my mouth all saliva-y, I feel alive. Wonderfully, wonderfully alive.

Work then... where I managed to kick the corner of an open drawer with my shin (beautiful purple knot to show for it) and get my wrist caught in the window Joshua was rolling up when I met him for our lunch break. Injurious, I told you. After work we came home and changed and headed out to the Mountains to the Sea trail on the BRP to go for a run... where I managed to catch my foot on a root and fall. Perfect ending to the day. It wasn't so bad though-- the forest floor is soft and doesn't scrape your hands up like asphalt does. I love running through the woods.

Joshua and I registered for a 5K in May, and I registered for the Susan G. Komen 3-Day Walk in September (in D.C.! love!). So there will be a lot of running and walking to come. I will become a runner, dangit! I plan on running as many races this year as I can... there are so many good ones up here in the mountains, too. Races are fun and make the training worth it, you know?

I'm going to consolidate my blogs and then get ready for bed. It's not even 8:00, you say? I'd argue that my circadian rhythm is back in place and I'll see you at sunrise. 

Coming together

It could be that the 90-day challenge is starting to cause some breakthroughs, it could be that the timing is right, or it could be an Isaiah 43 thing... but lots of things in my life seeming to be converging at the moment in a series of empowering, life-giving epiphanies. I am all about it.

The thing is, I've been feeling stuck for a very long time. It had recently gotten very bad, and I continually prayed, telling the Lord that I just felt stuck and didn't know what to do about it. It was becoming a daily conversation between Him and I... mainly one-sided. Or so I thought. Then Joshua and I went and had dinner with some friends from Highland. These people are warriors on the spiritual realm. I don't think you really know what fighting is until you battle in the spiritual plane. Anyways, at the end of the evening they asked if they could pray for us before we went home. Of course. So in the middle of this Holy Spirit-inducing-mad-goosebumps prayer Amy looks at me and says, "Stuck. I'm just getting the word 'stuck.'" It was my tenderhearted moment with God, when He spoke through a human vessel to say, "I hear you." Amy prayed for movement in our lives. And since then... change has begun. Thank you, Jesus.

I am having realizations, and epiphanies, and hope, and truth spring to life inside me again, like brilliant springtime buds bursting forth after a frigid and harsh winter. There is a literal feeling inside my chest, and an uplifting in my mind. I am excited again. Oh, how long has it been since I truly felt excitement about life? Too long. It reminds me of Narnia and how everyone had just gotten used to the land existing in a state of perpetual winter while the White Witch reigned. Then Aslan breathed new life onto the landscape.

"See, I am doing a new thing! Do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland..."

You do make beautiful things out of dust. 

Epic failure

Well, in case you were wondering, the "spaghetti and meatballs" dinner AND the butternut squash soup were both EPIC failures. After three hours in the kitchen, Joshua and I went to bed hungry and frustrated. We'll have to find another way to cook the bison-- anyone have a good recipe for bison burgers?

Last night Joshua and I went and saw stand-up comic Etta May at the Diana Wortham Theatre. Tickets were free compliments of being an employee at Biltmore Estate, and the show was great. It was really fun to just go to a show and laugh.

Today Joshua and I worked with Misty Miller at her giant bi-annual consignment sale, Munchkin Market. One of the reasons I enjoy working the sale is because I have never seen so many pregnant women in one place at one time. And seeing them line up outside before we open and then rush in at 8:00 when we open the doors in one thundering stampede is a sight to behold. I met several ladies today who are expecting twins. I told God that I wouldn't mind having twins, not at all. I think my clock just made its first tick. 

Tonight's dinner experiment

Dinner has become somewhat of an experiment for me and Joshua.

Recently at CrossFit someone passed around a sign-up to buy in for a side of bison meat. Joshua has wanted to try bison for a long time, so we joined in the purchase. Tonight we have attempted to make spaghetti and meatballs-- paleo-style.

Spaghetti, easy. Remember spaghetti squash? The hardest part of that is slicing the darn thing in half.

Spaghetti sauce from Earth Fare-- all-natural and yummy.

Bison balls.

Well...

How would you make meatballs when you cannot include breadcrumbs or milk?

We decided to substitute coconut milk for the regular milk, easy enough. Breadcrumbs are kind of an essential part of meatball making, though. They help hold everything together, you know? We figured that we would use the pulp from our juicer that is just going to waste. So tonight we juiced some kale, pineapple, pear, blueberries, mango, and apple (delightfully delicious GREEN juice!) and salvaged the pulp to put in the meatball mix.

The guy arranging the bison purchase recommended that we not overcook the bison meat. He says that it has a tendency to dry out easily. Since our meatballs are rather soupy anyway, we're disregarding his advice in this instance.

I'll let you know how it turns out tomorrow. I'm off to make some paleo butternut bisque soup. 

Writing

So the mystery appointment mentioned in yesterday's post was my first of eight intrinsic health coaching sessions. Sounds fancy, doesn't it?

Really, it is about discovering what you want and getting there. Hence the homework of a vision board... basically a collage of all you envision for your life.

I have loved making collages since I was a little girl. I would spend hours cutting up magazines, carefully choosing pictures that I loved. I think that it is what drew me to photography in the first place. I am eager to get back to that place in my heart and peer out through that lens-- I think that it will be a deep breath of "at home" that I have been looking for for awhile. 

Today's thoughts

Today was a blustery cold morning, and I decided to walk to my 8:00 a.m. appointment across the hospital campus to rack up some mileage on my pedometer. My employer is awesome in that there is a health program where certain activities equal points, and enough points equals cash. Yep, cash. One of the easiest ways to earn points is to purchase and wear a pedometer. Walk enough during the quarter and you're well on your way to easy cash money.

Anyways.

I decided to walk. I almost immediately regretted my decision, because I was trying to multi-task by eating my breakfast (a.k.a. banana) and my hand pretty much turned into a solid block of ice after the first two minutes. I ended up in a building I'd never been in before, lost, and late.

But I got there.

I'm going to leave you hanging about where I was headed. I'll just tantalize you by saying that I will be making a vision board, and I will take photographs and post them for you once it is complete. If I can overcome my perfectionist tendencies and call it complete, that is. 

Ancient computer

I wanted to post a funny video that I saw on Facebook, but I am relegated to blogging on the household's most ancient computer tonight, and YouTube refuses to show its face. Joshua is sick and laid up in bed and is currently occupying our PC with a movie. I'm sitting here with my apron tied around my waist and saying hello to the blogosphere in the midst of cooking Paula Deen's "Old-Time Beef Stew" and stealing spoonfuls of Coconut Bliss. Praise the LORD for Coconut Bliss!

Today in the mail arrived three books of poetry, sent by my dear friend, K-Smeltz. It's on my new 101 in 1001 to read a book of poetry. Plus, this season of fasting has been a melancholy one, and so some Emily Dickenson should come in right handy. K-Smeltz sent me her own personal copy complete with sticky tabs on her favorites.

Better go check on Hubs. 

Home again, home again

We are home from Myrtle Beach. Michelle found the *perfect* wedding dress and I am so glad that we made the trip with her to be a part of the process. I wish I could post pictures, but on the off-chance that Christian happens to read my blog, that would spoil everything completely and I might never be forgiven. :)

The sun only appeared this morning as we were getting ready to leave my in-laws' house. I stood in the kitchen for a moment, soaking up the warmth as the sunlight shone through the window and I wished-- like seriously longed for-- a beach vacation. We did go out to the pier on Saturday, but it was cold and damp and so foggy that you couldn't see where the ocean and sky kiss on the horizon. It was romantic in it's own morose fashion. Joshua and I stood wistfully on the pier, listening to the waves beating the sandy shore below and spoke to each other about our craving to live on the water. I asked Joshua if he would rather live at the beach than at the mountains. I was surprised when he said yes.

I took the beach for granted as a Floridian, and I miss it something fierce now. Even on cold, clammy days like yesterday, there is an unrivaled, mysterious beauty about the sea.

I am thankful for the rainy weather, though. We spent a lot of quality time with my in-laws, whom we don't see enough of these days. Goal to visit more often. 

Off to Myrtle Beach!

Off for a whirlwind trip to Myrtle Beach to get Shelly's wedding dress fitted!!! I'm going to love it even if it is raining the whole TIME!

I must blog

Internet was down again last night... the router has a mind of its own. Not that I minded too much-- more time to cuddle up with a book on a rainy winter evening. Definitely my style.

Tomorrow Joshua, Michelle, and I are headed on a road trip down to Myrtle Beach to go get her wedding dress fitting done.  Should be good times... I can't wait to step out onto the beach (rain or shine) and let my soul melt into the sound of waves lapping on the sandy shore. I am also excited to see my sister-in-love wrapped in a confection of white, and to spend time with my in-laws. 

Here's to three day weekends. 

Saturday wasn't my fault...

... but yesterday was absolutely too gorgeous of a day to be sitting inside at the computer.

For real, though.

Saturday the internet was down when I sat down to blog. Yesterday was 70 degrees in JANUARY, people. Joshua, Michelle and I took ourselves down to the local park, slung up Eno hammocks between a nice little triangle of trees, and laid in the shade while reading the beginning of Amy Carmichael's biography. It was gorgeous. The park was full of people, young and old, and so many dogs! Cutter accompanied us and took in the beautiful day alongside us.

Other highlights from this weekend: buying the new Amos Lee CD (with a gift card, which makes it double the fun), going over to the Ledfords' and enjoying some delicious grilled food (including grilled pineapple, which might be one of my favorite things ever) and playing with all of their high-tech gadgets. Has anyone ever seen/heard of a Google television? I hadn't until Saturday night, and my world is forever changed. Lord help us.

Also was introduced to this guy. Watch some of his stuff. It's brilliantly creative and he's got some mad editing skills and musical talent. How would you like to do that for a full-time job? This one and this one are my favorites so far. 

Day 26

Today I was the last one to finish the WOD at my 7:00 a.m. CF class. As soon as I got one round in, I thought, There's no way I'm going to be able to finish this. I might as well tell Shanna [one of the trainers] I'm going to stop. One by one everyone finished before me, until it was just me and another lady. The 8:00 a.m. class was starting to fill up the gym. But that's when the cheering started. "You got this" and "keep it up, Megan" and people getting down at eye level while I'm dying through my last round of burpees. I would've given up on myself, but the community at CFA wouldn't give up on me. I am so thankful for these people and this environment.

Strength/Skill - Clean below the knees 3x3 and Clean 3x3 (28#)

WOD - Complete the following for time:

20 burpees

10 power cleans (70% previous 3RM - 38#)

16 burpees

8 power cleans

12 burpees

6 power cleans

8 burpees

4 power cleans

4 burpees

2 power cleans

11:10

Week in Pictures

If you have never checked out at MSNBC's Week in Pictures, you need to check it out. Moments captured in eternity that will break your heart, make you laugh, and cause you to realize how blessed you are.

It's images like these that inspire me to keep photographing life. Not that portraits aren't stunning, but something about the raw factor of these photojournalistic captures just does it for me. This is what it means to be a photographer for me. 

Thursday's Gratitude

I have to admit that I'm in kind of a bad mood tonight. And uninspired to write.

But today I was inspired to be grateful.

When I wake up in the mornings, I have a habit of getting on the computer to wake myself up. The blue light from the computer monitor does the trick. Anyways, I logged onto Facebook to see a comment someone had left me and on my news feed someone had posted a clip from American Idol. They made a comment about it, saying that they believed the guy was legit, and it made me curious to watch.

It turned out to be a very heart-wrenching story about a young guy who was engaged to be married to the love of his life, and two months before their wedding his fiancee got into an automobile accident and suffered a traumatic brain injury. She survived, but is paralyzed and displays the same symptoms of someone who has had a severe stroke. The guy takes care of her with her mother, and they never got married. He said something to the effect of, "I was about to make vows to this woman-- 'in sickness and in health, till death do us part'-- what kind of guy would I be if I left when she needs me most?" It was inspiring and heartbreaking all at the same time.

After the clip was over (Joshua was watching by this point, too), we knelt down and thanked God for all of our blessings. All I could think of is how horrible it would be if Joshua could never smile at me again, or reach out to touch me. Certainly puts things in perspective. Including this cranky mood I'm in now. I think I'll go smile at my husband and give him a hug.

Here is the link if you wanted to watch.

Day 24

CFA again today...

Strength/skill - Shoulder press at 1-0-3-1 tempo, 28# 5 sets 8 reps

WOD - 3 rounds of: AMRAP in 2 min 5 DL (40% 5RM = 38#), 30 SU; 1 min rest; AMRAP in 2 min 5 ring dips (blue band), 10 wall balls (yellow ball)

8 DL/SU

7 + 5RD RD/WB

I didn't want to die today. That was a plus.

Toastmasters

Anyone out there ever heard of Toastmasters International?

I went to an open house meeting for the Mission chapter of Toastmasters today. It was certainly interesting... I had never been to a "club" type meeting before where there are officers and formality. It was entertaining, and a bit intimidating, and inspiring. I am considering becoming a member. I have always enjoyed public speaking and the last time I had to give a speech was my freshman speech class at UCF. That class is what led me to pursue my major in interpersonal communication. I am still fascinated by that topic, and I think it would be fun to get back into public presentations. And it makes me nervous. And you should do what you're afraid of more often, right?

On a completely other note, I am considering trying acupuncture. Has anyone ever done that? It kind of creeps me out a little, to think of being a human porcupine... but if it works, well then it works. 

Compartmentalization

I don't think that I believe in compartmentalization.

Today I had a personal situation happen that caused me to feel emotionally upset in the middle of the workday. As a result, when I had an issue arise at work that usually wouldn't make me blink, I had a knee-jerk emotional reaction that first manifested as irritation followed by an intense bubble up of emotion. When I felt that bubble rising I recognized that this was not work related. Thankfully I was able to step back and give myself a few moments before tackling my work again. That respite (Heather, what does respite mean? *wink*) gave me a minute to assess myself and figure out what was really going on, and address it.

I view compartmentalization as the opposite of assessing and addressing. It's kind of like feeling that emotional bubble rise to the surface and immediately shoving it down inside and slamming the lid on it. Now I come from some good English stock, and we have propriety passed down through the bloodlines. So I'm not going to say that it's okay for someone to drag all their personal mess into the workplace. But I don't believe in the philosophy of "leave your problems at the front door." Sometimes things happen in life that strain the essence of our beings, and sometimes we even feel broken. I don't believe in forcing another human being to leave their brokenness at the door. I think that this attitude is just another evidence that our culture does not know how to deal in intimacy or grief. This "leave it at home" mentality does not enhance community, trust, or valuing one another. And honestly-- although we rarely stop to shove ourselves into this paradigm shift-- when it's all said and done, relationships are what matter in this life. When the fit hits the shan, the melange of things that we normally occupy our lives with vanishes and we become immediately and only concerned with our relationships.

Am I right or am I right?

P.S. Melange was totally my word of the day today. 

crap

The conversation between me and Joshua as we dance around the kitchen making Japanese curry for dinner:


Me: "I need to blog."
Joshua: "Do you have something to blog about?"
"No."
"What do you write about when you don't have anything to say?"
"Crap."
"Crap? I don't get it."

Day 21

Tomorrow begins week four... I can hardly believe that in a week I will have made it a month on this paleo journey.

Highlights: I had a cheat meal. We got some unexpected money to go on a date, and Joshua took me to Texas Roadhouse. I really, really, REALLY wanted to eat a yeast roll. So I did. Just one. I also had a Caesar salad (I stuck with steak and steamed veggies for dinner). The roll was actually really good. I didn't feel bad after eating it. The salad made me kind of queasy. Joshua and I got into an argument over my cheating... which turned into a very good discussion about addiction that we probably needed to have. Kind of ruined our date, though.

I don't regret my cheating behavior; I am actually pretty proud of myself that I didn't binge on bread. I could've done without the salad, but that roll was worth it. Bread still tastes good.

I'm back to good Challenge behavior. We've spent tonight cooking... pot roast, breakfast potatoes, broccoli, chicken... I am using coconut oil for the first time and I'm pretty excited about it. We also went shopping at Earth Fare yesterday and found some "paleo friendly" ice cream, made with organic coconut milk and agave nectar. The agave isn't really paleo allowed, but it's essentially the same as honey for me, and I have been dying for a good dessert. It's wonderful.

I have been leaning too heavily on potatoes... I need to ease up on that. But I've lost 7 lbs. in the past three weeks and I'm freaking proud of that.

fun with Shell Bell

Sundays are family day. Today I wanted to do something creative so we decided to have a photo shoot with Shell Bell. I'll put some photos together to show you, but here's a cute one. 

Can't believe she's getting married in August! I love this girl. 

mind over matter

"We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." Carols Castaneda

How true is that quote! Another one, which is a Doris Howard essential, is "Life's circumstances will either make you bitter or better... it's your choice." Putting these ideas into practice is a bit easier said than done, however. It's so easy to wallow in self-pity and negativity, especially if it is a habit formed by years of practice. I think I have been guilty of covering up my issues with pleasure. Now that I am fasting from my go-to "pleasure" standbys, I have come face to face with certain things that I have heretofore (my boss uses this word all the time and it makes me laugh... who really says "heretofore" anymore?) dealt with using that age-old tactic of avoidance. Now that these issues are surfacing, I find myself faced with the choice of bitter or better, miserable or happy. I am reaching for better and happy. There is an amount of work that goes into it, though, and I think I might just be lazy.

Today I feel...

... young and untried, like a new Thoroughbred eager to eat up the ground in long strides. I like the feeling of working hard, accomplishing things, and going home to rest knowing that I've done a good job. This has been a good week. 


My mind wants to stretch, learn, grow, and dig deep to make me what I'm capable of. That's a pleasant feeling. 


My body wants to eat bread. With butter. 

extra long

Today I am working extra long hours so that I can go to all the shift meetings for our department. 6a, 12p, 6p, 12a. In between the last two now. At Grammy's for some beef stew... what a nice caveat in the day.

What kind of day have you had?

Day 17

I am discovering that I am an emotional eater. Sad? Eat. Overwhelmed? Eat. Really, though, it's not just eating... it's eating comfort foods. Heavy, salty foods. Today I want-- I WANT-- mozzarella sticks something fierce.

Missed a week of CrossFit due to transitioning to a new job. Switched to a morning class and went for the first time this morning.

Strength/Skill - Back squat @ 3-1-1 tempo. Worked up to 65# but at that final weight it was hard for me to make the 1 second drive up.

WOD - AMRAP in 7:00 of 7 pull-ups (green and purple bands) and 7 burpees. Completed 5 rounds.

I want to cheat and eat something non-paleo SO bad today. I am tired of broccoli.

Self-discovery

I think I'm testing my own mettle. Taking away my creature comforts has been a challenge, for sure... tests my weaknesses, shows me where I find my strength. I should be glad for the lesson in self-discovery, but today I'm a little bitter because I am JONESIN' for some mozzarella sticks. 

Bah humbug. 

Ambulance protocol

Tonight on my way home, I was on a divided highway on on the other side of the road I saw an ambulance coming down the hill ahead of me. Kindly, two drivers pulled over to the right as far as possible (no real shoulders to pull off on). It warmed my heart a little... in our increasingly self-centered society, it was nice to see strangers giving way in order to help someone else in trouble. 


But I do have a question about ambulance protocol. When you are on the interstate and an ambulance comes up behind you, are you supposed to pull off the road? I think that is dangerous on a road where the speed limit is 70mph. I usually just get in the right hand lane, leaving the fast lane open for the ambulance to pass by. Does anyone know the real protocol in that situation, though?

new digs

Moved into a new office space today at work, to go along with a transfer to another department. It's been a day full of boxes.


Not much time to sit and sort through thoughts tonight... we're leaving in a few minutes and I'm trying to get dinner ready in the meantime for the whole family. Chili and cornbread (can't eat the cornbread... stink). It's a good day for chili and cornbread... a gray, wintery day. 


Everything is a jumble. Too hurried to try to straighten it out... I figure it will all be there tomorrow if I'm granted another day.

Spaghetti Squash

I've just completed week two (of 12) of my Challenge. I am finding that my taste for super-sweet foods is diminishing bit by bit, and the less sugar-filled varieties are becoming more enjoyable. Last night Joshua and I decided to try spaghetti squash after reading about it on a paleo forum.

Squash as a substitute for spaghetti? I thought it was going to be a long shot. But we found some dairy-free, gluten-free, no sugar added marinara sauce at the health food store and added some ground beef to it for a good Italian meat sauce and proceeded to give the squash a shot.

It was easy enough-- cut the sucker in half, lengthwise; remove the pulp; and then place face down on a cookie sheet and bake at 375 degrees for 45 minutes. When it's done you run a fork along the tender inside and strips of squash peel off that are just the same size and shape as spaghetti noodles. Top with the meat sauce and go for it.

The squash has a super-mild taste and the consistency of an al dente pasta. It was delicious, and I didn't miss regular spaghetti at all. I mean, you really never even taste the pasta anyway... it is just something for the sauce to stick to. Why not get another vegetable in and skip the noodles?

I think that another factor contributing to the expansion of my normally picky palette is that I am hungry... most of the time (not eating grains prevents you from getting that "full" feeling). So when you are hungry, lots of things that you normally might not try get a green light... and they are satisfying to boot.

Win.

Happy birthday!

Happy birthday to my dear friend, Heather Heather.

You make me remember bumblebees and packing peanuts, sneaky body odor sniffs, ecosystems growing in trunks, getting stuck on a rock in the middle of a roaring river, and laughing until I pee. You are beautiful, hilarious, and creative... and I love you and miss you!

Please come visit me soon. Or be available when I visit my mother for her 50th birthday. 

Happy birthday, beloved friend... may this next trip around the sun be everything you hope for and more!

Friday!!!

Oh, I have not been this glad to see a Friday in a looooooong time. 

Step one: Relax beneath the warm glow of candlelight tonight.

Step two: Sleep in as long as humanly possible tomorrow.

Step three: Get our space ORGANIZED.

Step four: Enjoy homemade paleo food (made these stuffed bell peppers tonight that were de-lish... looking forward to trying some spaghetti squash later this weekend).

Step five: Visit the library. Devour books.

Step six: Exert some energy. Run, WOD, whatever.

Step seven: Delight.

How's that for seven steps to a stellar weekend? 

poetry

Is anyone else amazed that January is almost half gone?

I wrote a poem. One of my goals is to write poetry. Notice there’s no adjective in there… it doesn’t have to be good poetry. Keep that in mind.

Starcomber

Last night I saw You

Walking among the stars

They moved softly around Your feet and parted before You

Like waves breaking around Your footsteps on the seashore.

You looked at me from Your place in the heavens

And with frank eyes You told me that I belong there, too

Why, You asked, am I so satisfied with the paltry baubles of this earth

When I was made to walk through stars with You?

That, I’m almost certain, is not good poetry. But meaningful to me.

Day 11

I had a rather frustrating moment with myself last night.

I am learning a lot about nutrition and how our bodies work and keys to staying healthy, all rather coincidentally, it seems. Last night I was (again) learning about the damage that fructose has on our bodies. Soda in general. Did you know (and you might, but I didn’t) that if you drink one can of Coke per day for a year, and you never burn off those excess calories, that by the end of the year you will have gained 15.6 pounds of fat? That explains what happened to me last year…

Anyway, most recent revelation—an endocrinologist explained the “secret formula” that keeps people so addicted to soda. Did you know that soda has a diuretic in it? Makes you pee fluid water. Have you also noticed how much sodium soda has in it? Tell me, what happens when your body expels much of its fluid water and then you consume large quantities of salt? You are thirsty.

Do you see how this is all adding up? Diuretic to make you pee. Sodium to make you thirsty. HFCS to cover up the taste of salt. Caffeine to provide you a subtle stimulant. It’s a recipe concocted to keep you drinking. The companies that produce these drinks aren’t ignorant of this.

Doesn’t that sound horrible? It does.

So why, oh why, do I seem to be Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? There is one (intelligent) part of me that realized the horror of what’s going on, the fact that I am allowing myself to be victimized by a greedy, money-making scheme invented by a company that obviously cares nothing about the obesity epidemic in our country. I see the terrible consequences of consuming so much fructose and how it could potentially rob me of my health. And yet… there is still this (very strong, insistent) side of me that doesn’t care. That side cares about taste, and enjoyment, and pleasure. That side can block out all of the facts and revel in the fizzy bubbles and sweet, satisfying taste.

Hence my frustrating moment with myself last night. Really, it was anger. I don’t understand how I can have such head knowledge about things and still desire to make harmful choices. Joshua pointed out that this equates to spirituality as well… and life in general. Addictions to toxicity.

I think, as far as diet is concerned, I am going to strive for balance. For instance, I can guarantee you that after the Challenge is up, I will be eating butter again. (Didn’t anyone ever tell these people that the “secret to life is butter”? Name that movie.) But I hope that I can look at food differently. Every meal is not my last. There will be ample opportunities to enjoy x, y, and z. I don’t need to eat them all this week.