Nonsensical

I have been thinking deeply lately about random issues... to include life's direction, my attitude and outlook, personal transparency, repressed memories and emotions, life's simple pleasures, love and relationships, choices and their ramifications and authentic spirituality. There are so many thoughts and feelings swirling around, it seems that I grab one by the tail and examine it for a moment and then it slips out of my grasp and spirals back into the myriad.

Currently I am sitting in my bed, laptop in it's namesake position and the smell of roses permeates everything. I have a red pashmina draped over me that my dad bought for me a few years back, just because it is beautiful and soft and make me feel elegant in my Lynyrd Skynyrd tee and worn blue jeans.

There is so much about life that I want to discover and taste and at the same time so much I let hold me back. The basest reticence is laziness and habit-- the most formidable would probably be incapacitating fear. My theme for this year is freedom from fear. Maybe I should also incorporate liberty from laziness as a subtitle.

What inspires you?

I have been making a mental list of things in this world that I enjoy for the last ten minutes or so, beginning with this pashmina and continuing to world history and poetry and hot water and fudge brownies. Although I'm not sure I would call fudge brownies inspirational, they do make me happy-- and the simple pleasures of life are inspirational to me in their own right.

Tomorrow I will go downtown to church, which is in a bar, and amidst the beer taps and Big Ass ceiling fan, I will worship God and do my best to be authentic with him. I don't usually do much in the way of preparation for this, but I think that tonight I just want to quiet my heart into a rhythm of gratitude for the simple things, so that tomorrow I will be ready to focus on the Great. Comprehend it just a tad more, and be sufficiently overwhelmed.

This post has been a mite nonsensical, but what is a blog for but expression? Here I am expressed on a Saturday night.

Ciao, bella.