treach' er·ous (trech' ә-rәs) adj. deceptive; unreliable.
e·mo'tion (i-mō' shәn) n. a state of mind in which feeling, sentiment, or attitude is predominant (over cognition and volition).
Treacherous Tuesday. A day in which Megan is experiencing a deceptive and unreliable state of mind in which feeling, sentiment, and attitude are predominant over rational thought and willpower.
I think that the fact that I realize this is a point in my favor. There are a couple things that I know to do in order to shift the balance from feelings to fact:
1) Speak the truth.
2) Give thanks.
3) Focus on someone other than myself.
The truth is that feelings do not operate the train that is my life-- faith and facts do. Facts such as...
I am an eternal being and this life is not my own.
Feelings, while sometimes pleasant, often lie.
God is so much better than I can infinitely imagine.
He knows my heart and loves me. He has wonderful, adventurous plans for me.
Even when my feelings tell me otherwise, it is possible to experience complete satisfaction and fulfillment in Christ alone.
I am still reading Crazy Love and in it there is this quote from the book God is the Gospel that says, "The critical question for our generation-- and for every generation-- is this: If you could have heaven, with no sickness, and with all the friends you ever had on earth, and all the food you ever liked, and all the leisure activities you ever enjoyed, and all the natural beauties you ever saw, all the physical pleasures you ever tasted, and no human conflict or any natural disasters, could you be satisfied with heaven, if Christ was not there?"
When I read that it was just like a knife in the chest. Because I am guilty; because it is quite possible that I would be okay with that. The realization that I don't love God as I ought was like ice water in my face. I've been struggling since I read that, because self-condemnation is something that comes easy to me... but now I am starting to look at myself truthfully and see the hope that is there. It is true that I do not love God as I ought. But that is like a half-truth if I leave it there, because just to say that completely ignores the desire to love God more that he himself has placed in my heart. And he who began a good work in me will bring it to completion, amen! So my prayer today is, "Help! The pitiful amount of love and desire I have for you leaves me ashamed... The truth is that I love me. Change my heart." And I have hope, because he will. Is that not good news? O, praise him!
I am thankful for God's unending faithfulness... so thankful that his desire and love for me is beyond my comprehension. Thankful that he hears my prayer and that he will give me a heart that loves him with a crazy love. I am thankful for friendships and companionship on the journey and women (like Brittney and Mary) who are willing to listen and love. I am thankful that I don't have to have everything figured out; that life can be an adventure; that I can live for something more than money, power, or myself. I am thankful for freshly sharpened pencils and new journals full of blank pages yet to be filled. I am thankful for tastebuds and the ability to smell... glorious smells like freshly baked bread, or brewing coffee, or the sky just before it rains, or the scent of Joshua's skin mixed with the smell of his soap. I am thankful for all kinds of weather... sunshine and rainstorms and snow that falls softly and silently. I am thankful for love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control.
And now, to focus on Someone other than myself. Abiding. Loving. Desiring.
Bring it on.
Until Wonderful Wednesday, everyone. Here is one of my new favorite music videos to leave you with...
Showing posts with label eternity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label eternity. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Saturday, April 26, 2008
After a strategic hiatus*...
25 days since I have last graced your presence. I have thought about writing-- started writing, in fact-- several times, but it just wasn't right. Either I had too many thoughts in my head that just came out as unsubstantial fragments or I was writing frivolous crap that I didn't even want to read. You know when you don't want to read something you wrote it's pretty bad.
Do you often think about eternity? I have a largely temporal mindset. What I would like to eat for lunch and dinner takes up a remarkable amount of mental energy in my day. (Seriously-- choosing between the Ruffles with ranch dip and the more health-conscious spinach salad with organic raspberry vinaigrette dressing is generally at least a fifteen minute process in front of the fridge.) Contemplations of how far I will really go to ban toxicity from my physical body swirl around in my head. Where I am going to live, what I would like to do in my life, how I want to grow a garden, music I would like to buy, how much sleep I am going to get, trips I want to take-- these are the typical me-centered thoughts that drive my day.
Everything that I believe is true spiritually is intertwined into these thoughts. What I choose to eat. So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.
How far I will go to ban toxicity from my body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
Where I am going to live, what I will do with my life... A man's steps are directed by the Lord. How then can anyone understand his own way? In a heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.
How I want to grow a garden, things I want to buy, concerns about me, me, me... For we must all stand before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad. By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as an expert builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should be careful how he builds. For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man's work. If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames... tempered with: I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil-- this is the gift of God.
I know that I am inspired and reminded to live in the mindset that life is so much bigger than me when I look at these words. You know?
What I want right now? That dress? That vacation? That salary? Is that really going to matter when death is over and eternal life has begun, and the purpose of my eternal existence is to praise and reflect God's gloriousness? I think I would rather start the eternal process now. So that when I am standing before the judgment seat of Jesus Christ and the worth of my life is revealed by fire, there will be something substantial remaining. Because my possessions and my salary and my honeymoon in Italy are all going to vanish.
If I actually try to consider eternity, it boggles my mind. Truly, man is like a breath; his days are like a fleeting shadow.
So in contemplating the gravity of this mindset and how if I truly adopt it, my life will be in many ways reversed, I have realized the following:
All that I have-- own, buy, rent, eat, wear-- is a gift of God given to me for stewardship. What's stewardship? It's a fancy word that means "the actions of a person who manages another's property or financial affairs; one who administers anything as the agent of another or others." So it's not mine-- it's just something God has given me to administer as His agent.
What does being God's "agent" mean? It means sharing this with the people in your life:
Anyone who belongs to Christ is a new person. The past is forgotten, and everything is new. God has done it all! He sent Christ to make peace between himself and us, and he has given us the work of making peace between himself and others. What we mean is that God was in Christ, offering peace and forgiveness to the people of this world. And he has given us the work of sharing his message about peace. We were sent to speak for Christ, and God is begging you to listen to our message. We speak for Christ and sincerely ask you to make peace with God. Christ never sinned! But God treated him as a sinner, so that Christ could make us acceptable to God.
So how can I use what God has given me to spread the word? How can I make my choices based on this truth? I think it's revolutionary.
What do you think?
______________________
* Blog title attributed to Billy K.
Do you often think about eternity? I have a largely temporal mindset. What I would like to eat for lunch and dinner takes up a remarkable amount of mental energy in my day. (Seriously-- choosing between the Ruffles with ranch dip and the more health-conscious spinach salad with organic raspberry vinaigrette dressing is generally at least a fifteen minute process in front of the fridge.) Contemplations of how far I will really go to ban toxicity from my physical body swirl around in my head. Where I am going to live, what I would like to do in my life, how I want to grow a garden, music I would like to buy, how much sleep I am going to get, trips I want to take-- these are the typical me-centered thoughts that drive my day.
Everything that I believe is true spiritually is intertwined into these thoughts. What I choose to eat. So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.
How far I will go to ban toxicity from my body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
Where I am going to live, what I will do with my life... A man's steps are directed by the Lord. How then can anyone understand his own way? In a heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.
How I want to grow a garden, things I want to buy, concerns about me, me, me... For we must all stand before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad. By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as an expert builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should be careful how he builds. For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man's work. If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames... tempered with: I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil-- this is the gift of God.
I know that I am inspired and reminded to live in the mindset that life is so much bigger than me when I look at these words. You know?
What I want right now? That dress? That vacation? That salary? Is that really going to matter when death is over and eternal life has begun, and the purpose of my eternal existence is to praise and reflect God's gloriousness? I think I would rather start the eternal process now. So that when I am standing before the judgment seat of Jesus Christ and the worth of my life is revealed by fire, there will be something substantial remaining. Because my possessions and my salary and my honeymoon in Italy are all going to vanish.
If I actually try to consider eternity, it boggles my mind. Truly, man is like a breath; his days are like a fleeting shadow.
So in contemplating the gravity of this mindset and how if I truly adopt it, my life will be in many ways reversed, I have realized the following:
All that I have-- own, buy, rent, eat, wear-- is a gift of God given to me for stewardship. What's stewardship? It's a fancy word that means "the actions of a person who manages another's property or financial affairs; one who administers anything as the agent of another or others." So it's not mine-- it's just something God has given me to administer as His agent.
What does being God's "agent" mean? It means sharing this with the people in your life:
Anyone who belongs to Christ is a new person. The past is forgotten, and everything is new. God has done it all! He sent Christ to make peace between himself and us, and he has given us the work of making peace between himself and others. What we mean is that God was in Christ, offering peace and forgiveness to the people of this world. And he has given us the work of sharing his message about peace. We were sent to speak for Christ, and God is begging you to listen to our message. We speak for Christ and sincerely ask you to make peace with God. Christ never sinned! But God treated him as a sinner, so that Christ could make us acceptable to God.
So how can I use what God has given me to spread the word? How can I make my choices based on this truth? I think it's revolutionary.
What do you think?
______________________
* Blog title attributed to Billy K.
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