Help and healing

So yesterday I went to counseling for the first time in my life.

Sometimes I have felt like I should see a counselor, but I never went because in the end I convinced myself that I have had a great life and really what I would be doing is making things up to talk about.

I was certainly wrong about that.

About 30 minutes in I realized that even though I'm a pretty blessed chick, I've still got some serious issues lurking in there. And they are really twisted and I definitely need help sorting them out.

It wasn't what I was expecting. I wasn't expecting someone trained in psychology to be able to ask the exact question that would make me feel the most unsettled. (duh) But that's what Mary did and it completely worked me over. At one point I started shaking uncontrollably. It was so weird, but at the same time it was really good because I realize that what we talked about needs to be processed and dealt with and I am eager to do that.

Ever since I've been in Asheville I have felt like the Lord is really speaking to me that he desires me to be real with him. He has shown me how in many ways I am a captive to fear and how he wants me to be free. That's what prompted me to go to counseling-- I realized that if I want to be free, I've got to get some help.

So I am. And I'm unashamed. And I am now recommending Mary to everyone who lives in a 50-mile radius of Asheville, because she is an amazing counselor.

Healing in my inmost parts... the Lord desires truth there. And where there is truth there will be healing. Thank you, Jesus.