Right now I am baking Italian breaded pork chops for my husband to take to work for lunch tomorrow and I am TIRED, although I cannot figure out from what... I was up late last night and slept in this morning, then just the usual combination of chores, work, errands, and social activity that generally fill up my days. My eyelids are heavy.
Today was the first day I have been back on my laptop for about three weeks... my AC adapter went kaput, then I procrastinated on ordering a new one online and it just came in this week since I finally got around to it. Josh and I have been house-sitting (did I mention that in my last post?) and I have been taking advantage of using the Cenders' wonderful Mac... drooling occasionally, I'll admit. I'll also admit to daydreams that played out like montages of video and photo editing and documentary creating and a prayer to God that I would sincerely like a $1,500 Mac computer.
My laptop hard drive decided to stop spinning today. This is an answer to my prayers... perhaps God will see fit to drop a $1,500 computer in my lap... or perhaps it's a spanking? Who knows. Either way I realized how unattached I have become to my material possessions... perhaps because I have to keep downsizing and giving away, perhaps because my apartment caught on fire and I know what it's like to think you've lost everything. I simply felt a twinge of sadness that all my photos and downloaded MUSIC could be lost forever, though Facebook can help me with the photo situation. The music... Billy was kind enough to back up my iTunes in 2007 before I moved to Asheville, but I've downloaded quite a bit since then. I'm sure there's some sort of program where you can rip music off an iPod, though.
It has been fun to house-sit, but I will be glad to get back to our one-bedroom space in the Worthys' basement. I miss my window that overlooks our vegetable garden and the way our room smells... like us, and a hint of vanilla, and the outdoors because we've had our windows open all summer.
Joshua is going to try to go back to school this fall, if we can afford it. I'm looking for a job... right now my only true lead is grape picking in the Biltmore vineyards, which is something that I just thought would be fun to do. The harvest begins in September. I've been thinking about working a "regular" job again... what it would look like, how I will feel, what I want. I know what I want to do, and I'm actually pursuing it, but it's not something I'll be able to make money doing-- at least right now. So what should I do to make some money? It is a question I've been mulling over for days... maybe that is why I am so tired... it's just bouncing around in my head and I'm not really getting anywhere with it. Sidebar: those pork chops smell delicious. Mmmmm.
I have purposefully been avoiding any secretarial-type positions because I was so miserable before, but instead find myself wondering about what Joshua terms "piddly jobs" that I'm "selling myself short" on. Do dreamers who aren't entrepreneurs actually live out their desires? I have to say that I fall short of entrepreneurial... though I'm not sure that it's timidity as much as it is personality type.
I bet if you had all these trains of thought railroading around in your head, you'd be tuckered out, too.
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