This is so surreal.
Last night I was lost in the details, typing up instructions for all the people who are helping out on Saturday, but then I got into bed and closed my eyes to go to sleep and it struck me: I can't believe that I am about to get married.
Seriously, I've only been wondering about the man I would marry since I was in middle school. And now, not only do I know him, but the moment is arriving where I will stand up in front of friends and family who love us both dearly and pledge my love, loyalty, and friendship to this man to the death.
I was overwhelmed by the fact that I can't even comprehend the magnitude of this promise, and I was overwhelmed by the desire to grow into it.
Most of all, though, I felt the urgency to be present.... this week, on my wedding day, on my honeymoon. I can so easily get caught up in the details-- the seemingly important but lastingly irrelevant stuff of life that takes up time and energy and focus.
Tonight I took the time away from the to-do list (which is longer than I would like it to be) and I sat down with Joshua and a bowl of ice cream and I just sat with him, enjoying him and giving him my full attention. That is how I want this week to be. There will be people that I dearly love traveling ten hours to witness and celebrate this joining together of me and Joshua, and I want to take the moments to see them.
Really, that is how I want life to be. But I'll fight for it this weekend. I won't rush, I won't let stress take me away mentally from those around me.
And on Saturday I will remember that what matters is that two lives are now becoming one, that I am leaving my parents and clinging to my husband, and that Jesus is weaving an incredible covenant between me, Joshua, and Himself.
Wow. Talk about surreal.