I have come to discover that when you face the prospect of losing everything (and I'm talking material possessions here), it is then that you discover what is really important to you.
My apartment caught on fire in 2007 and as I stood outside watching the roof blaze it was a bizarre feeling to know that I could be left with nothing. I left the scene that evening without even being able to drive my car, because my keys were upstairs in my bedroom. It was only then when I was on my way to a friend's house that the things that I sincerely felt loss over came crashing down on me. At the same time, I found it interesting to see what really mattered. My jewelry that had been given to me by Joshua, my Nana, and my parents. My journals that recorded all of my topsy-turvy emotions through my adolescence and various romances and was a witness to (certain parts of) my life even up until two days before the fire. My computer that had all of my photos and music on it. The thought of my keyboard being melted down into one smelly chunk of plastic was something I refused to dwell on, especially the notebook filled with songs I had written over the past seven years that was sitting on top of it. But that was it. It was interesting to take stock of my life and realize what I would really keep if I had to choose.
I was faced with a similar situation this week-- though not nearly so dramatic-- when Bryan told me the data from my hard drive is irrecoverable. He even stuck it in the freezer overnight to see if he could get it to run again, to no avail. I realized that the only things that mattered to me were the years of photos and years of music that were saved onto that hard drive. Mainly what mattered to me where the photos of the trip to England that I took with my family in 2006, because I hadn't posted any of those on Facebook or Flickr and the thought of losing them all was very sad. And I still have all of my CDs, so I can just re-import them into iTunes, but all of the purchased music... hundreds of dollars worth... uggghhh.
And here I must take a moment to thank my dear friend, Billy, who before I moved to Asheville two years ago insisted on backing up my iTunes and all my photo files. Today I discovered in my desk two DVDs full of pictures, including photos from our trip to England... all of them! Whoo hoo! And I'm sure that I have downloaded more music since November 2007, but the majority of the files should be on the DVDs he burned as a backup for my iTunes... and hopefully there is a way to rip the music off of my iPod and put it onto my laptop once Bryan installs a new hard drive.
It's weird how in these moments it becomes clear what is important. I think everyone should have a couple of these moments in their lifetime... it helps maintain perspective (no, everything is not necessary; yes, some things are irreplaceable).
Anyways, with the new hard drive I'll be getting my laptop will once again be super speedy and also I think I am getting Photoshop which tickles me pink. Yay for losing everything. :)
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
End of a day
Right now I am baking Italian breaded pork chops for my husband to take to work for lunch tomorrow and I am TIRED, although I cannot figure out from what... I was up late last night and slept in this morning, then just the usual combination of chores, work, errands, and social activity that generally fill up my days. My eyelids are heavy.
Today was the first day I have been back on my laptop for about three weeks... my AC adapter went kaput, then I procrastinated on ordering a new one online and it just came in this week since I finally got around to it. Josh and I have been house-sitting (did I mention that in my last post?) and I have been taking advantage of using the Cenders' wonderful Mac... drooling occasionally, I'll admit. I'll also admit to daydreams that played out like montages of video and photo editing and documentary creating and a prayer to God that I would sincerely like a $1,500 Mac computer.
My laptop hard drive decided to stop spinning today. This is an answer to my prayers... perhaps God will see fit to drop a $1,500 computer in my lap... or perhaps it's a spanking? Who knows. Either way I realized how unattached I have become to my material possessions... perhaps because I have to keep downsizing and giving away, perhaps because my apartment caught on fire and I know what it's like to think you've lost everything. I simply felt a twinge of sadness that all my photos and downloaded MUSIC could be lost forever, though Facebook can help me with the photo situation. The music... Billy was kind enough to back up my iTunes in 2007 before I moved to Asheville, but I've downloaded quite a bit since then. I'm sure there's some sort of program where you can rip music off an iPod, though.
It has been fun to house-sit, but I will be glad to get back to our one-bedroom space in the Worthys' basement. I miss my window that overlooks our vegetable garden and the way our room smells... like us, and a hint of vanilla, and the outdoors because we've had our windows open all summer.
Joshua is going to try to go back to school this fall, if we can afford it. I'm looking for a job... right now my only true lead is grape picking in the Biltmore vineyards, which is something that I just thought would be fun to do. The harvest begins in September. I've been thinking about working a "regular" job again... what it would look like, how I will feel, what I want. I know what I want to do, and I'm actually pursuing it, but it's not something I'll be able to make money doing-- at least right now. So what should I do to make some money? It is a question I've been mulling over for days... maybe that is why I am so tired... it's just bouncing around in my head and I'm not really getting anywhere with it. Sidebar: those pork chops smell delicious. Mmmmm.
I have purposefully been avoiding any secretarial-type positions because I was so miserable before, but instead find myself wondering about what Joshua terms "piddly jobs" that I'm "selling myself short" on. Do dreamers who aren't entrepreneurs actually live out their desires? I have to say that I fall short of entrepreneurial... though I'm not sure that it's timidity as much as it is personality type.
I bet if you had all these trains of thought railroading around in your head, you'd be tuckered out, too.
Today was the first day I have been back on my laptop for about three weeks... my AC adapter went kaput, then I procrastinated on ordering a new one online and it just came in this week since I finally got around to it. Josh and I have been house-sitting (did I mention that in my last post?) and I have been taking advantage of using the Cenders' wonderful Mac... drooling occasionally, I'll admit. I'll also admit to daydreams that played out like montages of video and photo editing and documentary creating and a prayer to God that I would sincerely like a $1,500 Mac computer.
My laptop hard drive decided to stop spinning today. This is an answer to my prayers... perhaps God will see fit to drop a $1,500 computer in my lap... or perhaps it's a spanking? Who knows. Either way I realized how unattached I have become to my material possessions... perhaps because I have to keep downsizing and giving away, perhaps because my apartment caught on fire and I know what it's like to think you've lost everything. I simply felt a twinge of sadness that all my photos and downloaded MUSIC could be lost forever, though Facebook can help me with the photo situation. The music... Billy was kind enough to back up my iTunes in 2007 before I moved to Asheville, but I've downloaded quite a bit since then. I'm sure there's some sort of program where you can rip music off an iPod, though.
It has been fun to house-sit, but I will be glad to get back to our one-bedroom space in the Worthys' basement. I miss my window that overlooks our vegetable garden and the way our room smells... like us, and a hint of vanilla, and the outdoors because we've had our windows open all summer.
Joshua is going to try to go back to school this fall, if we can afford it. I'm looking for a job... right now my only true lead is grape picking in the Biltmore vineyards, which is something that I just thought would be fun to do. The harvest begins in September. I've been thinking about working a "regular" job again... what it would look like, how I will feel, what I want. I know what I want to do, and I'm actually pursuing it, but it's not something I'll be able to make money doing-- at least right now. So what should I do to make some money? It is a question I've been mulling over for days... maybe that is why I am so tired... it's just bouncing around in my head and I'm not really getting anywhere with it. Sidebar: those pork chops smell delicious. Mmmmm.
I have purposefully been avoiding any secretarial-type positions because I was so miserable before, but instead find myself wondering about what Joshua terms "piddly jobs" that I'm "selling myself short" on. Do dreamers who aren't entrepreneurs actually live out their desires? I have to say that I fall short of entrepreneurial... though I'm not sure that it's timidity as much as it is personality type.
I bet if you had all these trains of thought railroading around in your head, you'd be tuckered out, too.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
ritorna me
Almost two months later and here I am with a wedding, honeymoon, and another production of Godspell under my belt. It's hard to believe that Joshua and I have almost been married for two months... crazy! I have written one thank-you note so far. Bad Megan.
There is so much bouncing around in my brain that I hardly know where to begin or how to connect it all. A disjointed blog post is better than no blog post, no?
It's summertime in Asheville which is unceasingly beautiful. The garden is in full swing, hopefully ready for harvesting at the end of July. Fireflies are out every evening, summer storms boom through the mountain passes, and daylight fades at 9:00 p.m. Right now Joshua and I are house-sitting for some friends. I'm typing this on their Mac that I am trying not to covet while semi-watching The Mirror Has Two Faces-- an old Barbra Streisand movie that probably no one owns besides me. We went for a walk this evening after dinner and passed a man walking his dog... and his cat. The cat just follows along... the guy said the two are inseperable. An amusing highlight to the day. So far our house-sitting adventure has included the Great Hamster Escape and Recovery, a lynx with digestive trouble, and my first experience driving a hybrid car (I'm a fan).
I've decided to write a manifesto (according to Webster: a public declaration of intentions, opinions, objectives, or motives) and once I'm through with the first draft I'll post it. I was telling Joshua at dinner that the point is not to create a set of expectations to live up to or not live up to (such as a New Year's resolution, 101 in 1001, etc.), but rather to create a set of ideals to shape your life and give it direction and intentionality. Since I love lists, I figure a manifesto is right up my alley.
A new gym just opened in Asheville called The Rush, open 24/7 and very, very nice. Joshua got us a membership last week and today was my orientation, which is a complimentary session with a personal trainer for every new member. I got my butt kicked with strength training... and I imagine tomorrow I am going to be able to feel it. But I am super excited about having a gym to work out at again, especially because The Rush has a pool (salt-water cleaned, a plus) and I've always wanted to swim since it's the best cardiovascular excercise for you.
My mind is still scattered, and I'm off to work on the manifesto. More later.
There is so much bouncing around in my brain that I hardly know where to begin or how to connect it all. A disjointed blog post is better than no blog post, no?
It's summertime in Asheville which is unceasingly beautiful. The garden is in full swing, hopefully ready for harvesting at the end of July. Fireflies are out every evening, summer storms boom through the mountain passes, and daylight fades at 9:00 p.m. Right now Joshua and I are house-sitting for some friends. I'm typing this on their Mac that I am trying not to covet while semi-watching The Mirror Has Two Faces-- an old Barbra Streisand movie that probably no one owns besides me. We went for a walk this evening after dinner and passed a man walking his dog... and his cat. The cat just follows along... the guy said the two are inseperable. An amusing highlight to the day. So far our house-sitting adventure has included the Great Hamster Escape and Recovery, a lynx with digestive trouble, and my first experience driving a hybrid car (I'm a fan).
I've decided to write a manifesto (according to Webster: a public declaration of intentions, opinions, objectives, or motives) and once I'm through with the first draft I'll post it. I was telling Joshua at dinner that the point is not to create a set of expectations to live up to or not live up to (such as a New Year's resolution, 101 in 1001, etc.), but rather to create a set of ideals to shape your life and give it direction and intentionality. Since I love lists, I figure a manifesto is right up my alley.
A new gym just opened in Asheville called The Rush, open 24/7 and very, very nice. Joshua got us a membership last week and today was my orientation, which is a complimentary session with a personal trainer for every new member. I got my butt kicked with strength training... and I imagine tomorrow I am going to be able to feel it. But I am super excited about having a gym to work out at again, especially because The Rush has a pool (salt-water cleaned, a plus) and I've always wanted to swim since it's the best cardiovascular excercise for you.
My mind is still scattered, and I'm off to work on the manifesto. More later.
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