Case in point

Going right along with my most recent post... a friend snapped this photo in a local grocery store today. Can you find Stinky Hippie in your neighborhood grocery? 

Only 12 posts for the whole year???

I just realized I only posted 12 blogs for the entire year of 2010. Make that 13. But I don't like odd numbers, so I'll have to post at least once more before 2011 rolls into town.

I was looking at our bathroom counter the other day and the assortment of toiletries that litter it, and I laughed out loud at the "Ashevillian transformation" that has certainly found its way into my life. 

Things you never would've found in my bathroom prior to 2008:

• Anything made by Dr. Bronner (ALL ONE!), Tom's, or Alba
• Patchouli (Heather, I warned you about this once. It means the hippie phase is going too far. Intervention may be required.)
• Peppermint oil, Thieves oil, any essential oils, really
• Tinctures
• Kyolic
• A Neti pot

It's getting deep, it really is. 

It's not polite to ignore a request

My beloved Heather Heather "officially" requested a blog update about and I quote:

-something pensive

-something funny
-something listing
-something just letting the blogging world know you are still alive

So here it is.

Well, I'm not very good at funny. I don't think I've even had a really good embarrassing moment lately, except when I went about guessing the ages of my female co-workers and was wrong... totally, totally wrong. And not in the good, I guessed you're younger than you really are sort of way. So, blogging world, I am still alive! Alive and kicking, actually. Right now my life consists of a new job at the local hospital, helping my dear friend Grammy Doris connect with the online world as she fundraises for her ministry (teaching a 70-something year old woman to use Facebook is precious and priceless! I've got to get some of this on film), getting my tail whipped at CrossFit Asheville, and prioritizing time with my husband who is into his first year of nursing school and pretty much on an opposite schedule from me. Life is busy and having a full-time job again I am settling into "normal." For some reason, a few years ago the idea of a normal life was like the black plague to me. I think it's because I have a tendency to base my sense of worth on what I do. I am just now starting to realize that radical, warrior, brave, and otherworldly are matters of the heart, and from the heart flow actions that shape a life. 

A song that I have been meditating on lately is called Slow Your Breath Down by Future of Forestry. It kind of sums up where I've been and what God has been speaking to me. 

I find myself an interesting paradox these days... still full of the same conviction, fire, and passion that I've always embodied, but tempered by pain, heartache, and the realization that life and God do not fit into the nice little box tied with a bow that I had made up so nicely. I find myself a little less quick to speak, a little less quick to decide, and a little more aware that people are not always as they seem.

The best weekend I've had in a long time was last weekend. I went on a canopy zipline tour through the Nantahala Gap on the very westernmost edge of North Carolina with good friends and family. After a long (and early day) of adventuring, I returned home to make spanakopita with my family in a kitchen that isn't my own but I feel welcome in because I am part of a community. Sitting around the table with hands messy with olive oil talking about dreams and God and memories, laughing and teasing and loving... this was a good day.

In list fashion, to close this out... some random tidbits for your reading enjoyment...

1 - CrossFit. You will be hearing about this. It is intense and about elite athleticism. I have been doing a six-week course called OnRamp that teaches the basic foundations of Olympic lifting so that I can join a regular class. I feel like I'm going to die after most sessions. But I am realizing more and more that it is a discipline of the mind. Success or defeat is decided in the mind. 

2 - Paleo/primal/clean lifestyle. It goes hand-in-hand with CF training. Basically lean meats, lots of veggies, some fruit, some seeds and nuts and oils made from them, no grains, no legumes, no dairy, no sugar at all. It's a choice I'm going to have to make... I can feel it in my body. My body wants to perform but I'm feeding it crappy fuel and it's killing me for it. More discipline, my favorite. Working on it.

3 - The Closer. Can I tell you how much I LOVE Kyra Sedgwick. "Thank yooouuuu!" 

4 - The soundtrack from How to Train Your Dragon. How to Train Your Dragon for that matter. Super cute movie. Soundtrack that I play on repeat constantly. 

5 - Photography. I can't really explain this, except it is a creative outlet for me, and it is a creativity that I am coaxing back to life slowly after a long period of dormancy. I hope that it will be thriving again one day. 

6 - 3-day Walk. I am set on joining the Girlapalooza Team headed up by my friend Kak and walking the 2011 3-day in D.C. I will be hitting you up for donations, be prepared. 

7 - Loving my new job. God is good to me. 

8 - Still living lean, but we have what we need. Today I went to the eye doctor and I had insurance. It's been a long time since I have been able to say that.

9 - I will be back driving the Biltmore buses again soon for Candlelight evenings at Biltmore Estate... and hopefully driving some sweet cars for valet, too. 

10 - "Slow your breath down, just take it slow. Find your heart now... you can trust and love again." 

the beginning

Okay, so this is where it begins.

I have just hung up the phone after ordering a large half cheese, half pepperoni and mushroom pizza from Papa John's. My husband will be picking this up on his way home from class, and we will sit down together and probably end up watching Biggest Loser.

Window into the life of Joshua and I:

Me - full-time job, part-time photographer

Joshua - full-time student

Busy begins to describe life for us.

At this point in time, mid-twenties, we are both starting to come into our own. For me, that means questioning my habits and starting to make some changes. Mindfulness. Awareness. Not just blind consumption and routine anymore.

I am 25, short, and a size 8. Two years ago I was a size 4. The beginning of this process began with looking at myself in the mirror, and taking a moment to stop and realize how I felt in my own body. I stopped liking what I saw... and I stopped liking how I felt. Sizes may or may not matter to you. To me, there is something nice about saying I wear a small size, I'll admit to that vanity. But the journey I'm about to go on is more than just the size of my pants. It's about health, and about quality of life. It's about living up to genetic potential, and living up to my own desires for myself. I am not a slave to food, habits, or lies.

Where this is going first for me is diet. I have just started going to CrossFit Asheville, where I am working on strength. But those grueling CrossFit WODs (work-out of the day) aren't going to change my body if I don't have a proper foundation in place... and as much as I am loathe to admit it, the foundation is what I am putting into my mouth.

As you can tell from my opening line, I am not a health nut. In practice. There is a growing file of knowledge accumulating in my brain about nutrition, and the American food industry, and our bodies' design. It is just starting to trickle down that place-- you know, the place that makes you change.

The first step for me is going to be sugar. Which is problematic because I love Coke. Love, love, love Coke. The carbonation. The flavor. Its perfect accompaniment to all things salty, especially pizza. I know that I have to cut sugar. I know it. But I fear doing it because I also know that my cravings are going to be horrendous. Like an addict going through withdrawals.

Because I am an addict.

This is the hardest part of the process of transformation. Confrontation with the truth. About self, about life, about things that are ugly or things that hurt. It means pain. And everyone hates pain.

But through pain lies a transformed life. This is such a deep truth.

For now, I am going to enjoy my pizza (and Coke, I ordered a 20 oz. and didn't tell you) and watch Jillian kick the living daylights out of the contestants on Biggest Loser.

I'll let you know when I get the courage to kick the habit. It's got to be soon. I will probably post on the diabolical traits sugar so that I can give my self a little jump-start. Here we go.

process:transformation

proc'ess (pros'es) n. 1, course; progress; lapse (of time). 2, a series of changes leading to some result.

transˑform' v.t. change in form, appearance, or condition.

This is a blog about my own process of transformation-- and it's online because it is my hope that someone, somewhere will be able to benefit from my own journey.

Primarily, at the beginning, this might be a reflection of a physical journey. Food, movement, life... this is where it begins. I gather it will take me somewhere far beyond that.

Hope you'll enjoy the ride with me as I question, try new things, and change.

Summer lovin'

The weather tonight has to be one of my favorite things about Asheville. Does it get any better than dark storm clouds thundering their way through the mountains? The sound as thunder echoes through the peaks and valleys is like nature's surround sound. Mix that with the percussive melody of raindrops falling through treetop canopies and it is my favorite soundtrack ever. Seriously. You know those little noise machines? Most people like the setting that is supposed to sound like waves crashing on an ocean shore. (I don't really think it sounds like that hardly at all.) I know a few odd ones who actually like the white noise setting. (What...?) Me... I will always choose the rainstorm. If that is not available, I will happily make due with the babbling brook. 

I added something new to my "things I must have visitors experience in Asheville" list. Some existing items include pizza and a movie at the Brew and View, picnicking along the Rocky Bald River in Chimney Rock, an ice-cold adventure at Sliding Rock, and coming to Highland. Sadly, I had to retire spelunking in the fissure caves at Rumbling Bald, because the bats are dying of something called White Nose Syndrome that nobody knows anything about, but humans are probably part of the problem so no more disturbing the bats in Western North Carolina. Boo, hiss. For their information, I only ever saw one bat at Rumbling Bald... although come to think of it, I think it might have been sick because Joshua came awful close to picking it up off the wall and it didn't even put up a fight or flap a wing. Whatever. Save the bats.

New adventure: Tubing on the Green River down in Saluda. Normally, tubing down a river is something that you might classify as relaxing and fun to do with a group of friends, but not an adventure, per se. Might I ask you... what if said river had... rapids? 

The Green River is not your Granny's river, especially with the amount of rainfall we've had in the past year. There are whitewater rapids interspersed with calm flowing waters that make the three-hour float down the river a bona-fide adventure. Add in the snakes and that takes the adventure rating up a whole 'nother notch. 

The bathrooms at the tubing rental place leave a LOT to be desired, so I would suggest being dressed for the water when you arrive (I wasn't) and peeing in the river instead of chancing one of the toilets. But overall, it's a great way to spend an afternoon, especially since it's just $7.00 per person. And I didn't see one snake, which I count as divine intervention because God knows how I feel about those creatures. 

So, next time you come to visit me in Asheville during warm weather season, you can bet I'll take you tubing. What's fun to do in your neck of the woods?

Blog-worthy!

Today I ran my first race, the Oppenheimer Run for Kids' Sake 5K. I have been training for it since about the beginning of May, and it felt so good to cross that finish line today! I finished in 35:12 (although I'd like to just say 35:00 because the first 12 seconds were spent waiting to cross the starting line since I was in the back of the pack) and managed to place 2nd in my age group (I haven't found out exactly how many people were in the female 20-24 group yet... I'm going to laugh if it's like three or something). But it was so much fun! Running in North Carolina is not easy because of all of the hills... I definitely need to do some hill training. But I am super stoked about running more races this year, and my running buddy Deb and I really want to train for the Chicago Marathon in October 2011. Yay for crossing the finish line!

Summertime

Today's top three reasons I love summertime in Asheville:

1. The sun is rising when I leave the house at ten 'til five to go to the gym in the morning, and when I come home at 9:00 at night there is still daylight.

2. Corn stalks shooting up toward the sky and green bean tendrils winding their way around our homemade trellises in our vegetable garden.

3. Fireflies!

God has been doing something so refreshing and exciting in my heart this week. After a year of struggle, confusion, and (more often than not) discontentment, I feel like my head has broken the waterline and I am breathing life-giving oxygen again. Upcoming blog on this wonderfulness soon... preferably on a day that does not involve the regular gym, work, evening commitment insanity of schedule. This week that probably means Wednesday. Be on the look out!

Welcome back

I suppose I am welcoming myself back to the blogosphere. It's been a long absence of writing on a regular basis.

This has been a hard year for me... I'm not even sure where to begin. A part of me wants to start a new blog because I feel detached from... well, before. Before what, exactly? I'm not sure about that, either.

Joshua and I just celebrated our first wedding anniversary. It's hard to believe that it has been a whole year since we stood on the side of a mountain and said our vows to one another. Marriage has turned out to be so much more and so much different than anything I thought it would be. It has been a hard year for us. We are two people with different wounds and different broken places within our hearts, and joining together in such a significant relationship, there is bound to be some collateral damage along the way.

Marriage is more than I thought it would be because I have a deep-- and when I say deep, I mean deep in that sense that you know with all of your guts-- knowledge of the presence of the covenant that unifies us and the fact that it is not Joshua and I who are holding it together but God Almighty Himself. Marriage is so different than I thought it would be because I am an American woman and we are all brainwashed by movies, romantic novels, and society in general which asserts that love is more about how someone makes you feel rather than what you give. No matter how many times you say, "I know it's not like the movies" the truth is you actually don't know that, not until you are in it. This year I have been unabashedly confronted with my own selfishness, self-centeredness, and the realization of just how conditional my love for others truly is.

All of that to say, marriage is not for sissies.

My 25th birthday is coming up later this year. When I was 19 and on my second tattoo, I decided I wouldn't get any more ink until I turned 25. That seemed like an eternity at the time... now here I am. I recently decided on the spot I'd like to get it done, but the inspiration for the actual tat has eluded me. Today I was reading the psalms and as I read these verses I think they might have provided that inspiration.

Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.

The images are rolling around in my brain. I wish I could draw.

I think I've decided to return to blogging for awhile. Hope you'll join me.

Blog spam?

I never wanted to do this, but I just had to add stinky word confirmation to my comments settings because I've just started getting blog spam. Who does that? 

Favorite Superbowl Commercial

Okay... so this one was my favorite.





What was yours?

Maybe it's time to update this

When I moved from LiveJournal to Blogger in 2008, I started a 100 things list to introduce myself to the world. I was just looking over some of my old posts and thought it might be fun to update that list and add to it (since I still haven't reached 100.)

This is a compilation of the old list... look for "update notes" in red.

1. I have a 30-minute commute from my apartment to the campus where I work and I absolutely love it. A highway drive that cuts through the Blue Ridge mountains... what's not to love? At this time of year I get a daily dose of gorgeous sunrises and sunsets, and coupled with Colbie Collait crooning love songs to me through my stereo, I couldn't ask for more. Sure as heck beats the old bumper-to-bumper carbon dioxide-infused rush-hour that Orlando has to offer. My commute still takes about 30 minutes, but ten of it is in the oasis of Biltmore Estate. 

2. I like words that contain dashes (see last sentence of #1) and I also like to use the cliffhanger dash-- just like this.

3. I adore Netflix and am currently working through season three of ER. Michelle got me a Netflix subscription for Christmas (had to quit my subscription awhile ago) and I'm loving it! Joshua actually bought me several seasons of ER for Christmas and we've started from the beginning and are watching them together... he's hooked. :)

4. Speaking of ER, I am a die-hard fan (of seasons one through three, at least). My favorite character is Dr. Mark Greene, followed in short order by Dr. John Carter who actually was quite endearing as a med student. Then of course the Carol Hathaway/Dr. Doug Ross relationship is starting to heat up in this season, but for me that is bittersweet because I realize that shortly thereafter Dr. Ross (played by the devilish George Clooney) will be leaving the show. Obviously, still a die-hard fan.

5. I could not survive life on earth without bread and potatoes. I must be a true Italian.

6. I'm a complete sucker for snuggling.

7. I don't eat chicken, beef or pork. But sometimes I really want to eat BBQ ribs. Definitely fell off the vegetarian bandwagon.

8. Sometimes music will hit this sweet spot in my soul that I can't really explain to anyone, but there is nothing like it.

9. I graduated college with a degree in interpersonal communication and still find myself amazingly interested in it. It has made me consider pursuing my master's in intercultural communication one day. Mmm... probably not.

10. I have ambitions to learn Spanish, French, Italian, German, Arabic, Chinese and Russian. My boyfriend (Joshua) and I have decided that if we learn one language every seven years, we can have it done before we die. I'm able to hold my own with Spanish already, so I think I'm ahead of the curve.

11. I'm an only child, but wasn't always. My younger sister died of heart disease 18 20 years ago. I now have a strange mix of only child/oldest child personality characteristics.

12. I love thunderstorms... which leads into the weird fact that I get very excited whenever a natural disaster is imminent. Is that sadistic? I am just most pumped in the midst of a crisis situation. Maybe I'm wired to do relief work.

13. My boyfriend bought me an iPod for Christmas. I had been secretly wanting one but trying to convince myself (quite publicly) that iPods are a detriment to society because they alienate people even further from one another in our already individualistic-to-the-point-of-ignoring-everyone-else lifestyles. I got an iPod speaker hook-up and share my tunes with everyone at work all day. I'm not sure if my Nigerian boss always digs my selection, but nobody has slammed their door shut yet. Seeing "my boyfriend" makes me smile. Still loving the iPod. 

14. If I could live in any three American cities in my lifetime, I would pick Asheville, Chicago and D.C.

15. When I was in Rome I went to the Trevi fountain and threw coins over my shoulder so that I would come back to Italy married. I completely believe it will happen.

16. I like to organize the clothes hanging in my closet by color. Don't even get me started on the travesty of our clothing storage system. 

17. Some days I really want to be married, and other days I am terrified of it. I'm pretty sure that's a sign I'm not ready yet. Ready or not... :)

18. I have these patent leather red high heels that make me feel absolutely bedazzling whenever I wear them.

19. I hate carrying a purse, but it's essential because I like to be forever prepared.

20. I spent a month in Nicaragua in 2006 and I'm pretty sure I left part of my heart there. I wonder a lot when I will get to go back. Hopefully this year with Dacia and Adam!

22. I love the sound of moving water. Rain. Waterfalls. Babbling brooks. Fountains. Ocean waves. I must live by that sound.

23. Going to the library makes me excited. I actually have daydreams about visiting the Library of Congress.

24. You know how little girls love horses? I never grew out of that stage.

25. I refuse to go shopping unless I have money because it puts me in a foul mood otherwise. I don't understand how "browsing for fun" is fun at all. I also have no patience when it comes to searching around for the best deal.

26. I have a Harley fetish. I am also not afraid of Bike Week and the girls in thongs and chaps and the saloons that go along with it.

27. If I could have one luxury in life, I would choose weekly massages. Oh, please.

28. I adore going to the symphony. The first time I went, it was to hear the Royal Philharmonic in Orlando and when they started to play, it literally took my breath away and I let out a huge gasp. It was one of the most glorious sounds I've ever heard.

29. I read the dictionary for fun.

30. I'm a brand-name snob, especially about food. Blame my mother. Umm... being poor has completely obliterated this. For the most part.

31. Somewhere along the way, I stopped being ashamed of liking what I like. Yes, I love Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman and I own Season 1 on DVD. Yes, I like to eat ketchup on my garlic alfredo noodles. Yes, I like new age “earth sounds” music and some Kenny G and lots of country. And yes, I love cheesy chick flicks and “inspirational romance novels.”

32. I love working in academia even though I’m not an academician. Those are both real words, by the way. Josh told me that “academician” sounds like some sort of alien life form. Which makes me laugh, because sometimes I think they might be. But really—I am like a little sponge on my campus, and if I hang around these people for longer than ten minutes I never fail to learn something new, whether it be a new word for my voracious vocabulary or psychological theory. Like I said, I'm working for Biltmore Estate now, but it's still a place of history and learning and I'm soaking it up!

33. I love, love, love! having the perfect word. Articulation is a fine art.

34. I am interested in way too many things to ever become an expert on anything, I think. Except maybe intercultural communication. I can see myself becoming an expert on that. My boss wants me to go to graduate school. So did my old boss. So do my grandparents. But what about meeeee? How about we just get my husband through nursing school right now?

35. Despite my greatest attempts, I never drink enough water and always eat too much chocolate. (We have an M&M dispenser in my office that makes everyone on campus happy. When I came here I was told that my utmost duty is to make sure that it remains stocked. It is sorely overused, and sometimes the button you push to make the M&Ms come out doesn’t work and you have to shake it a little. Yesterday the button didn’t work. I was trying to be quiet… everyone else was being quiet. I gave it a little shake. Pushed the button. Nothing. A little bit bigger shake. Nothing. Finally, growing tired of making quiet rattles that were surely driving everyone crazy when they all knew by now that I wanted some M&Ms, I picked up the machine and started shaking it like crazy. The only thing is I didn’t put my hand over the lid. It flew off on the third shake and about 50 M&Ms went flying across the office, which drew a gasp and an “Oh no!” from me, and a sudden appearance from my boss, who declared she rather liked the color on the dull carpet anyway.) Definitely working on the water drinking thing. Still have no self-control when it comes to chocolate.

36. I went to the Alamo when I was little with my parents, but the only thing I remember is being scared of lizards when my dad made me pose on top of a big boulder and wanting to go back and swim at the hotel pool. Oh, the attention span of babes.

37. When I was 14 I started dying my hair and kind of got into a habit. Blond, auburn, bold white and fire-engine red chunks, and finally in the summer of 2006, jet black. After that I decided to go au natural for awhile and also I made a bet with a friend that resulted in me agreeing not to cut my hair until May 2008. I now have the longest, naturally beautiful brown hair ever. Still haven't cut it... just trims now and then. 

38. I get giddy when I have a fresh journal/legal pad/notebook/post-it pad.

39. I love wearing skirts but hate shaving my legs. I think I have shaved my legs two times since I’ve moved to Asheville, and once was when I was back in Florida for the holidays and wanted to wear shorts. The other was for Valentine’s day. ;)

40. I’m not really into stuffed animals and teddy bears, but when someone I love buys one for me, it becomes my most precious possession. Hence the bear my dad bought me from EPCOT, the frog that says “kiss me, I’m your prince charming” from Josh and the huge Nemo that my dad got me for Christmas one year always adorning my bed and serving as snuggling companions.

41. I am absolutely thrilled by all the blossoms on the trees here as spring is arriving. It makes me giddy like a child because I've never seen anything like it. It is one of those things that makes my soul glow. New life. Beauty. Promise.

42. I haven't been to the dentist since before I went to college. Oops. I went. Twice. So there.

43. If I had a lot of money, I would buy everything organic that I possibly could.

44. The reason I wear glasses more than contacts is because I'm lazy. Period.

45. I kept a lot of my college textbooks because I think I might actually go back and read them one day. I'm not sure if that's delirium or just unrealistic expectations.

46. Joshua treats me like a princess and I love it.

47. I can't finish a whole beer, I get tipsy after two glasses of wine and I don't like the taste of hard liquor. I guess this is a good thing since I have an addictive personality and I'd probably end up being an alcoholic if I ever acquired a taste for it.

48. I love stories and could live my whole life for them. Reading stories in books, watching stories on TV or movies, hearing stories from people and writing stories... it makes me really, really happy.

49. I want to talk to the servers at Mexican restaurants in Spanish but I'm always too timid.

50. I am beginning to think that I mumble horribly and I need some practice in diction. Like Evangeline on Nanny McPhee. (Yes, I love children's movies. That's a bonus one for you tonight.)

51. I love event food. Popcorn and a soda at the movies, chicken strips and french fries at sporting events (don't do hotdogs, sorry fellow Americans)... if it has food that goes with it, I want some.

52. I am totally tempted to become a complete hippie (no car, TV, computer, cell phone; organic and locally grown food; sustainable living; etc.) but down deep I fear that I don't have what it takes.

53. I play the piano and have secret ambitions to make one of those naturescapes albums that has nature sounds in the background while I play my soothing melodies. I could totally do it.

54. I would love to honeymoon vacation in Tahiti, Canada, or Colorado.

55. I want to have an insane amount of kids. Like not using birth control amounts of kids.

56. I truly desire communal living with the people I love. I haven't quite been able to put words on this concept yet, but I know it's in my heart.

57. I have never been able to make a successful batch of homemade chocolate chip cookies.

58. I can count on one hand how many movies that have made me cry in my lifetime. Music makes me cry MUCH more often.

59. In the words of Trainer Bob, I like relentless.

60. I can't stand political commercials. Thank God for the mute button.

Okay, here are ten new ones for you today:

61. Remember #39 about not liking to shave my legs? And #52 about becoming a hippie? Well, I think the hippie thing is just some sort of conversion that happens gradually and naturally as you are assimilated into Ashevillian society. Unshaven legs? Check. (Although Valentine's day is coming up again and so I'll probably shave then... just because my legs really do look like man legs right now.) Nose ring? Check. Contemplating dreads? Check. Aversion to deodorant? Check. (Okay, I really hate body odor but not as much as I hate cancer. Applying metal and BHT to my lymph nodes everyday just seems like a bad idea, don't you think? We use Tom's... which kind of works. If I start using patchouli instead, then you'll know I have officially become a hippie.)

62. I miss the beach.

63. I love Disney World. The Worthys are leaving today to go on a one-week Disney vacation that they've been saving up for for YEARS... and I am so jealous. Joshua and I never got to go to Disney on our honeymoon because a tropical storm descended upon Orlando the day after we arrived, so we still have our tickets. We're hoping to make an anniversary trip sometime this year. I just think Disney is truly magical. 

64. You know those endcaps in the grocery store (or any store) that have sale items on them? Complete sucker. 

65. I love having my nose pierced and really want to get more body piercings. I'm a fan of the Monroe piercing but we'll probably just start with piercing up my ear.

66. It's possible I might be having a quarter-life "what's next?" crisis... which I would like to get figured out before we start popping out babies.

67. Every time I go into a store that sells DVDs I go and look for You've Got Mail but I think it's out of circulation. Which makes me sad because I love that movie and want to own it.  

68. The silence of snowfall mesmerizes me more than any other natural wonder.

69. I've started making my first quilt and I am surprisingly good at it.

70. I want an iMac so bad.

Blog of the day

Somebody is probably going to think less of me for saying this, but I am so tired of seeing Obama's name in the headlines every single time I open up Google News. Seriously, if the man is flossing his teeth, someone writes an article about it. I'm starting to think that he just loves being in the media. Does the media still really love the man? The word that comes to my mind is ad nauseum. (End of complaining.)

Last night I tried to be all Julie and Julia-esqe and whip up something fabulous for my husband. I wanted to make tacos for dinner, and I thought that my grandmother's Spanish rice sounded like a perfect accompaniment. Looking at the recipe, it seems quite simple: mince some onion, saute in olive oil, add a cup of rice and two cans of Del Monte tomato sauce plus a little water, cover and simmer for 20 minutes, then uncover and stir until most of the liquid has boiled out. But since when have the words "rice" and "simple" ever gone together in a sentence for me? The Worthys bought us a rice maker for our wedding gift which has been amazing. Amazing because all I have to do is measure out the rice, fill the pot with water to the appropriate line, and push a button-- viola! beautiful, perfect rice. 

Let's make a long story short by saying that I gave this Spanish rice two hours of my life last night before tossing it into the rice maker in a fit of frustration and then ending up with something very mushy.

Meanwhile, I thought I'd try my hand at making Japanese curry. I was first introduced to this delicacy in college by my roommate Julia, who could whip a batch up blindfolded. Japanese curry is, simply put, wonderful. Aaron Brand had sent me some curry mix from Japan and I had a few blocks of it left in the package, plus the ingredients laying around the kitchen, so I was very excited. 

I have rice simmering on one burner and the makings of curry boiling on another, and life is grand. Until the rice won't soften and I add the curry to the pot of meat and veggies and it refuses to thicken. Crunchy rice and watery curry... which, as you already know, turned into mushy rice and watery curry. 

I went to bed ridiculously upset with a puzzled husband. I told him, "If crunchy rice makes me this upset, there has to be something else wrong with me."

He very sweetly quoted to me a paraphrased line from Julie and Julia. "It's supposed to be," he said,"a comfort that you can absolutely know that if you add egg yolks to chocolate and sugar and milk, it will get thick." I nodded against his chest in a complete state of self-pity and proceeded to tell him how I feel like nothing that's supposed to be working in life right now is working at all. At which point he reminded me that I am not my own project and that I am God's workmanship and God will be the one to iron out the kinks in me if I will just be still and trust Him.

I'm still disappointed about the curry, though. 

I'm fighting my insecurities

... and I'm blogging about television.

Television. When Joshua and I were dating, we frequently recounted the horrors of over-televised children, swearing as parents we would never do that (yeah, all you parents go ahead and laugh) and even contemplated not having a television at all. (I never truly acquiesced to that idea... I insisted that we must have a TV somewhere on the premises with which to watch movies.) But as of late I have succumbed to my affection for all things related to plot, and have built up quite a TV-watching habit. Although thanks to the Worthy family, it is all recorded on DVR and I watch it at my leisure.

Favorite programs this year:

The Good Wife. I started watching this show because it had Julianna Margulies starring in it. I have loved her since her days on ER (pre-eyebrow waxing, even) and now that she's a 40-something I think she's even more compelling as an actress. The storyline can get a bit raunchy since it centers around the fact that Alicia Florrick's (Margulies) husband was a political figure who had an ongoing affair with a call girl and was convicted (falsely or not? we don't yet know what to make of it) of paying for her services with government (i.e. taxpayers') funds. There is actually more to his conviction than that... but it's mainly in legalese because this is a show about lawyers, and therefore I don't understand it. What's hooked me on the show is that Margulies is a mature enough actress to express the nuances of strength, betrayal, and pain that her character must be going through. That and it's a good courtroom drama. Nothing like a fiery cross-examination.

Bones. I actually just started watching Bones last season, which was when the inklings of romance between Booth and Brennan started heating up. I have no desire to go back and watch the previous seasons, because although I like the crime-solving aspect of the show and it's nerdy twist, really what keeps me going is that question: When are they going to get together already? It's fun to watch the sparks fly. And the psychologist character Dr. Sweets makes me laugh.

Biggest Loser. This season has been less entertaining than last season, mainly I think because the contestants are for the most part incredibly obese-- obese to the point that even if they lost 150 pounds while they were on the show, they would still have weight to lose. That's crazy. And it makes the transformation less dramatic when someone loses 20 pounds... and they still weigh 375. But I am a die-hard fan and will stick it out to the end. Maybe I am just expecting everyone to live up to Danny, the winner from last season, who had an amazing emotional breakthrough mid-season and then just killed it every week until the finale.

LOST. The final season! If you haven't watched the premiere episode, stop reading. This is your official *spoiler alert* although I'm not sure I'm going to spoil much. I just remember Jules wanting me to say that at one point when I was previously blogging about LOST. So they only have 14 episodes or so to answer a LOT of questions... but glory be! we finally found out what the heck the smoke monster is after years of waiting and wondering. I admit I was a little disappointed because it was so sci-fi-ish of an explanation... turning out to be the incarnation of __________ (insert creepy guy who wanted to kill Jacob since the 1800s and dressed all in black but I never know what to call him because DOES HE HAVE A NAME???). But mainly I am satisfied, simply because I have been waiting for answers for so long I am just relieved to finally be able to know something. Also... anybody else think that Jacob was reincarnated in Sayid's body at the end of the episode?

I just want to know... when did this show become all about Jacob and this other guy? This has been the progression of the expansion of the world of the survivors from Oceanic 815: We crashed on an island. Crap, there's no one here. Crap, there's a scary monster that kills people. Crap, there are people that whisper in the woods. What the heck? There are all these weird Dharma Initiative stations and videos. Crap, there's an insane French woman on this island. Holy crap, there are other survivors. Crap, there's a whole group of people on the island that are hostile. Let's call them "the Others." Crap, there's a scary cabin where supposedly this invisible guy named Jacob lives. Crap, there's this guy named Widmore who wants to kill the leader of the Others-- who is really bad, who is good? Finally... who the heck is this guy with Jacob who wants to kill him? And succeeds through Ben... and then... finally, finally... Crap, there is a strange Japanese dude with a whole group of people at a sacred temple who are scared of Jacob's nemesis... WHOEVER THE HECK HE IS. Will the writers be able to bring this full circle? We'll see.

Winter Storm Warning

I have hijacked Bryan's computer this morning because Joshua and I no longer have a computer of our own. My laptop (that my parents only bought me in what, 2005?) went kaput... same old "needs a new motherboard, that's not worth it on this machine" excuse. Whatever. I have my eyes set on a shiny new iMac but the funds for that are nowhere to be found. So from now on my computing will be done randomly on one of the Worthys' computers or at the library. 

It's actually been kind of nice to have a room that is unplugged. We've got a TV in there now for watching DVDs when we're in the mood, but other than that, there's no outlet for the outside world to seep in by. No internet, to television, no phones if we don't want there to be. 

So there is this GIANT snow and ice storm rapidly approaching Asheville as I type. In fact, I think it's two hours and counting now. The estimated snowfall accumulation is rising with every hour and it is cold, cold, cold. I was supposed to be taking off for Virginia on Sunday to visit my beloved friend K-Smeltz, but I don't think I'm going to be going anywhere. Which is disappointing since I have been looking forward to seeing her, but not too disappointing because I am currently the Queen of Free Time, la Reina del Tiempo Libre (whichever language you prefer; I kind of like the Spanish, personally), and will be able to reschedule. My job at Biltmore Estate has come to an abrupt halt until the beginning of April. At which point I will (hopefully) have successfully obtained my CDL and have another seven shows of Godspell under my belt (this time as Mic Wrangler and understudy for three of the female parts). 

Joshua just got home from school and I think we might want to make a run to somewhere, for something, before we get snowed in. Yeah, I know that was vague, but really it's just a desire to waylay cabin fever rather than a need to get anything or go anywhere in particular. 

Later then, homies.   

Another 101 in 1001 update!

Another 101 in 1001 update... I think I have actually accomplished several more of these things (or at least started on them) in the past few months...

101 in 1001

The idea is 101 goals to meet/things to do in 1001 days...
1001 days will take me from today, January 10, 2009 to October 9, 2011
(from 23 and single to 26 and married for two years!)

The Key:
Not started
In progress
Accomplished
New (replaced) goal
Fun commentary by Megan!

1. Get married
2. Get my third tattoo after I turn 25 
3. Read the Bible all the way through ~ started over this January
4. Grow a vegetable garden
5. Send out Christmas cards in 2009 or 2010 ~ only a few... but it still counts. :)
6. Learn to live in the secret place
7. Make a habit of reading before bed
8. Buy seasons 2 through 5 of ER ~ Josh bought me these for Christmas! 
9. Buy some sheet music and practice my reading skills to the point where I feel semi-comfortable sight reading ~ currently working on some ragtime fabulousness
10. Spend one month eating locally
11. Visit Washington D.C.
12. Make this fancy lemon-cranberry cake that is kind of out of my baking realm
13. One candlelit and music-filled evening with Joshua
14. Take dance lessons
15. Take a Tai-chi class
16. Get a professional massage 
17. Stay at the Grove Park Inn during winter and lounge in front of their cavernous fireplace
18. Visit my cousins
19. Take a trip with Josh to the Outer Banks
20. Walk across the Mile High Bridge at Grandfather Mountain
21. Spend time listening to my grandparents’ stories and write some of them down
22. Be 100% okay with disappointing people
23. Dig for the answers to my spiritual questions, and discover why I’m asking them
24. Participate in a 3-day walk
25. Plan a progressive dinner party
26. Initiate a conversation with a stranger when I don’t feel like it ~ my job gave me plenty of opportunities for this
27. Wear a size four and stay that way
28. Make a habit of thinking differently
29. Quit soda for a year (again)… ~ oh, I miss you, Coca-Cola
30. Get contacts
31. Give away the clothes in my closet that I haven’t worn in over a year 
32. Build a bonafide snowman ~ well, supposedly a huge snowstorm is about to arrive, so I'll have my opportunity!
33. See what’s at the end of the yellow rope in the caves of Rumbling Bald 
34. Have an emergency fund built up completely
35. Pay off debt
36. Learn to make biscuits from scratch from Grammy
37. Learn to sew
38. Make a quilt ~ I'm so proud of it so far!
39. Create a filing system that is actually useful
40. Own the game Settlers of Catan 
41. Make a homemade pie
42. Visit the Biltmore Estate when it’s decorated for Christmas, preferably with snow on the ground outside 
43. Carry on a Christmas tradition with Joshua
44. Hike up Cold Mountain
45. Run in a race of some sort
46. Ride my bicycle at Bent Creek
47. Hike to Graveyard Falls
48. Pick blueberries at Black Balsam
49. Tutor someone in ESOL 
    
50. Memorize the book of 1 John 
51. Visit the Library of Congress
52. Start taking people's portraits
53. Spend at least three weeks in Nicaragua
54. Become fluent in Spanish ~ thanks to Amanda, this might be a possibility
55. Introduce my sister-in-love to a particular someone who shall not be mentioned here
56. Complete the wedding day chela photo sequence
57. Buy a book about waterfall hikes in WNC
58. Read a book of poetry
59. Make spanakopita ten times (2/10)
60. Spend another luxurious day at Shoji Spa
61. Read all of my National Geographic magazines from 2008 (0/28)
62. Live in our own place
63. Spend a day reading by a waterfall
64. Run 10 miles on the Mountains to the Sea trail
65. Make the most comfortable bed possible for Joshua and I (down feather pillows, down feather mattress pad, high thread count sheets, duvet)
66. Get my CDL ~ should be accomplished by March 3, 2010! 
67. Have a dog
68. Have a cat
69. Travel somewhere by train
70. Have $3,000 saved toward a trip to Europe
71. Become a Legacy tour guide at Biltmore Estate
72. Take a road trip out West
73. Hike to the top of Mount Mitchell
74. Use teeth-whitening strips
75. Exfoliate regularly
76. Do tech work for 20 Godspell shows (10/20)
77. Change my diet to the point where at least 50% of what I put in my mouth is raw
78. Start a collection of board games that could rival Heather Heather’s
79. Become proficient on guitar
80. Grow out my hair until these 1001 days are up (excluding trims of up to two inches)
81. Buy a bookshelf
82. Slide down Sliding Rock ten times (0/10)
83. Write, shoot, and edit a documentary on Doris Howard
84. Hike up to the top of Looking Glass Rock
85. Hike to the top of the Mount Pisgah Summit when the autumn foliage is at its height
86. Go camping
87. Take a trip with Matt and Breanna
88. Email Deborah regularly
89. Try to find Skinny Dip Falls
90. Visit all 14 state parks in Western North Carolina (0/14)
91. Take a trip with Joshua to Highlands/Cashiers, NC and hike as much as possible
92. Read 50 books (1/50) ~ 1. Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert 2. Very Valentine by Adriana Trigiani
93. Learn to make banana bread
94. Go stargazing with Joshua ten times (2/10)
95. Go to India with Joshua
96. Wear a different necklace every day for two weeks (0/14)
97. Discipline myself to work as unto the Lord, not unto men.
98. Make a work of art and send it to K-Smeltz
99. Go on a plant-gathering expedition for tincture making. 
100. Take my sister-in-love on a trip
101. Enjoy every moment of my wedding day